I want to believe in us
by TheXtruth
Summary: Set before I want to believe the 2008 film, this is canon for me anyway, Hope you like it guys, thanks for the reviews!
1. Chapter 1

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Hey guys! I'm super happy with the reviews in all my stories, that's why I keep writing, I hope you enjoy this new one, is set before IWTB and straight til Season 11, I like to imagine the MSR dynamic being together, more realistic this time, hope you enjoy it, please leave me your comments! I'm also on Instagram and Tumblr as sculdership xoxo

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Chapter 1: Hoping for a new start

Indianapolis

7:14 am

Scully wakes up and Mulder is not at her side, but his essence is still in the pillow next to her, they have been running away for too long, when she finally feels that she is getting used to a place they should leave, Skinner has been their guardian angel, but she is already tired, just like Mulder, many of their arguments have been because he pretends that she must leave him and let him run alone, she knows that he is only trying to protect her, but she doesn't plan to leave him, not after so many years following him with closed eyes, believing in his truth, she won't do it even if he forces her.

The door of the small apartment opens and she wields her gun holding it from the night table, she can hear footsteps approaching the room and she points towards the door with the gun falling on her knees on the bed.

Mulder raises his hands seeing her point the gun to his head 'Hold your horses Scully' she scares lowering her weapon quickly to avoid pointing him 'Jesus Mulder!' she sighs in relief and he runs to the bed to hug her 'I'm sorry beautiful, please forgive me' he hugs her tighter trying to feel himself save in her arms

She tries to make him feel a little less guilty 'It's ok, just remember announce yourself, otherwise I will have a heart attack soon' she says putting her hands on his chest trying to get calm.

He looks into her eyes and pulls her towards him kissing her hard, she puts her hands over his neck and corresponds to his kiss rubbing her tongue with his lower lip and sucking hard. When they broke the kiss they look at each other and smile 'Where have you been Mulder?'

He kiss her neck and then looks at her again 'I went for our breakfast and I took the opportunity to talk with Skinner' She looks at him with interest, the fact that he was calling Skinner means there's news for them 'And what did he say?' she asks expectant.

He looks away from her trying not to worry her 'We must leave tomorrow, but we will be on our own' she pulls back a little and raises her voice with fear 'What?'

He sighs understanding her reaction but then he looks at her again and a smile begins to grow on his lips 'We're free Scully, well you at least, but I can follow you and stay with you going unnoticed'

She frowns trying to understand what he is telling her, but fails to understand, she pulls away from his embrace and sits cross legged on the bed as she looks at him 'I'm not following you Mulder'.

He remains standing looking at her, he knows this will not be easy for her, but he is ready for give this step and must find a way to convince her, but with her things are always slow

'Scully! You can go back to work, you've been deleted from the system, you're free' She looks at him with dismay, that means she can have a life again, not be away from her family, but 'Me? But what about you?' she says with concerned eyes

And there's the million dollar question, the one he knew she would do, although he really hoped she had not done it, he should look very confident now and convince her that everything will be fine, he approaches her and puts his hand on her cheek trying to improve the situation 'I will be with you, we must find a house'.

She doesn't seem convinced and pulls his hand away from her a little upset, moving more towards the center of the bed, she wants to feel happy but can't be, although she knows that things will never be normal between them, she dreams that someday they can achieve it 'Hold on Mulder, what will happen to you? You can not keep fleeing forever, you can not stay away socially forever, That's not a life, I don't understand' He sighs and sits on the edge of the bed watching her.

'I know you do not want me to be apart from you, this is the most I can do now, they will continue to persecute me who knows for how much longer and there is nothing that Skinner can do about it'

She looks at him sadly and approaches him on her knees to hug him from behind leaning her chest on his back and crossing her arms over his chest 'I'm sorry Mulder'

He sighs and kisses her hands with tenderness 'Hey! I'm grateful to have you with me, otherwise I'd be crazy'. She kisses his hair and then his neck, he closes his eyes feeling her lips on his skin, they remain silent for a while until she speaks again 'We must find a way to get you out of the system, it's an injustice Mulder' he smiles sadly, she is right but what's new about that, justice isn't something they know, not after all the past events on their lives, all they have lost, he kisses her hands again opening his eyes 'We already know a lot about Injustice Scully, I think it's not worth talking about it now'

She sighs understanding his words, she knows what he's thinking and now she feels guilty by making him feel sad 'You're right, I'm sorry' she says kissing the back of his neck and then leaning forward to kiss his cheek, then draws him to the bed and lies down with him laying her head on his chest.

She tries to light up the situation by changing the subject a bit and looking up at his face 'So, where will we go now?' he looks down and smiles a little, she feels her heart skip with joy as she watches his eyes shine as he thinks about the future

'What do you want? This will be our house, not just a place for a couple of months, this place has to be all you ever dreamt about Scully' he says caressing her cheek with the back of his hand

She looks down shyly and blushes a little seeing how important it is for him to make her happy 'Well, we should look for a rural place, away from the city, so you can go unnoticed and nobody will ask questions'

He hugs her pulling her closer to him putting his hand on her waist and kissing her forehead 'Well, I'm sure we'll find a cozy place, that you can decorate and where I can continue to write my conspiracy theories'

She laughs and then she raises her head to look at him, he kisses her on the forehead again and then closes his eyes, she looks at him with concern, she knows he needs to be in motion, he needs to investigate, he needs to do things otherwise he will go crazy; and this is not a good idea, the fact that she can start a normal life makes her happy, but she can't stop worrying about him, being at his side gives her happiness but he is sacrificing his life for her by staying hidden in a house.

She looks into his eyes and whispers 'Mulder, are you sure about this?' He opens his eyes and looks at her 'about what Scully?' She makes small strokes with her finger on his chest trying not to look nervous although he knows she is more nervous than ever

'I know you Mulder, I know this situation is complicated, and I'm afraid that you will come to hate being locked up in a house all day while I go back to work, and eventually hate me for that.

He looks at her with a smile of understanding and with eyes full of tenderness, taking her hand between his and bringing it to his lips to kiss it 'I'll have you with me Scully that's all that matters to me, and don't ever say I will hate you, because I can't even think about it, ok?' she nods a little blushed and turns to lean on one of her elbows putting her other hand on his chest and bending to kiss him 'Thank you Mulder'

He smiles and puts a strand of hair behind her ear 'Thank you Scully, for staying with me, follow me and believe in me' She releases her support and leans on his chest again, feeling his heartbeat next to hers. He caresses her hair and kisses her forehead feeling her sigh with pain 'Alright, let's eat breakfast before it gets colder, ok?' she looks up and kiss him again. 'Ok' she says smiling to him and moving away from him slowly to sit on the bed, he also sits down and gets out of bed bringing the bag he left on the night table and putting it on the bed, she laughs softly and takes the breakfast from the bag to share it with Mulder.


	2. Chapter 2

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 2: Making our decision

Next Day

Rural Virginia

Mulder has been driving all day, now they are coming to the last house they liked in the ads, Virginia is a place that both like and the house is off the road, something that is favorable for their current situation, She sees the house ahead on the road and looks at it with enthusiasm 'Well this is far enough, don't you think?' he looks at her and smiles 'It's a little bit to far Scully, I don't want you driving all this every day'

She turns around to look at him and puts her hand on his cheek with tenderness 'Mulder! We need this and I don't mind' He takes her hand in his hand and kisses her palm smiling, her kindness warms his heart, then he looks ahead and see the house entrance

'Well, it has a big gate, will you be able to open it?' She looks at him raising an eyebrow and gets down of the car to open the gate, he smiles from the car looking at her, she is just adorable, she is all he always dreamed and more. He laughs when he sees the strength he has to make to move the door, but if there is one thing he is sure is that she is a strong woman, she looks at him from the door waiting for him to pass but does not move so she climbs back into the car with a smile of satisfaction on her face.

'You were saying?' he laughs denying with his face and looking at her bright eyes full of life, his heart skip a beat just looking at her 'Me? Nothing!' she punch him softly in the arm and smiles like a little girl, he laughs again and ends the road to the front of the house. A woman comes out to meet them with a huge smile that makes Scully laugh, Mulder gets out of the car and takes Scully by the hand walking towards the woman

'Welcome, I'm Doris, did you make it easy with the address, some people get lost getting here' Scully looks at Mulder piercing her lips trying to stop the laughter she feels reaching her lips, he looks at her and immediately looks at the woman avoiding the contagious laughter

'Yes, thank you, it was easy actually' the woman smile pleased and indicates the way to the house 'Well, let's go inside then'

They both look at each other while the woman walks in front of them, Mulder grimaces at Scully and she hits him on the arm trying not to laugh.

The house is really spacious, two floors, on the first floor is the living room, the kitchen with dining room included, a bathroom and a room that will serve as a study, is furnished and looks comfortable, Scully releases Mulder's hand and goes to look at every corner, her eyes shine with a happiness that he has rarely seen in her, having a house for the two really excites her, he smiles looking at her, he doesn't care much about the house, he just wants her to feel happy and secure, the woman approaches him 'Is there something you don't like Sr?' she asks cautiously, he looks at her trying understand the question until he realizes that he's been distracted

'No, no, I'm just waiting for my wife to approve' he says smiling at her. Scully looks at him from the kitchen raising an eyebrow and surprised, the woman seeing her expression, tells them to look at the house while she goes out to make a call and leave them alone.

Mulder approaches Scully and takes her by the waist pulling her towards him, she puts her hands in his arms and looks at him with a smirk

She raises an eyebrow and looks at him in disbelief 'Wife Mulder?' he smiles rocking with her from side to side and then biting her lower lip causing Scully to instinctively do the same 'She doesn't need to know anything about us, how did you want me to call you? my partner?'

She looks down and draws a heart with her finger on his chest 'I guess it's fine'.

He laughs seeing her childish expression and kisses her forehead, she gets a little nervous and moves away from him taking him by the hand guiding him to the second floor, he follows her smiling and looking at her long hair that releases all her essence while walking.

Upstairs there are two bedrooms, each with a bathroom, the master bedroom has two closets and bathroom with bathtub, the bed is king size with many pillows on top, that make it look very provocative, Mulder imagines Scully naked on that bed stretching her arms towards him, he tries to evade his thoughts by talking again 'So, what you think? Do you like it?'

She holds him by the waist and lies on his chest listening to the beating of his heart 'Yes, and you?' He crosses his arms over her and caresses her back and her hair with tenderness, there is nothing that makes him happier than seeing her happy 'If you like it, I like it'

She raises her head to look him in the eyes and tilts her head to one side sighing 'You're going to spend all your time here, I want you to like it Mulder'

He knows that what she says is true, and the truth is he doesn't know if will be able to live locked in four walls doing nothing, that is not in his nature, but he doesn't want to worry her and she looks very happy 'I like it Scully, it will be our home, only that makes me like it, I don't need anything else, just being with you'.

She tiptoes and kisses him sweetly on the lips, he pulls her closer to him intensifying the kiss and throws her on the bed, she laughs a little blushed but waits for him to join her and kiss her again, he doesn't make her wait and leans on her using his knees as support stretching her arms over her head with his hands and kissing her avidly biting her lips, she moans his name on his lips while he lick her lips sensually going down to her neck.

Suddenly they hear footsteps on the stairs and they stand as fast as they can cleaning their lips with their hands, he combs his hair but laughs when he sees that her cheeks are red and her lips are swollen 'put a dimmer in that afterglow Scully', she blushes even more and runs to the bathroom to spread some water on her face, the woman enters the room and sees Mulder looking out the window

'Well? What do you think?' she says smiling again and hoping for a positive answer, Mulder turns to look at her and with serious expression walks towards her passing by her side and opening the closet

'We like it... I'll like to make an offer' the woman opens her eyes wide with happiness and giving an even bigger smile that almost makes him laugh in her face.

'Wonderful, I'm going down for get the contract ready then, you will not regret it' she leaves the room almost jumping and Mulder finally laughs out loud.

Scully leaves the bathroom a little nervous, Mulder laughs when he sees her and takes her hand to sit next to her on the edge of the bed.

'We'll continue this later missy', she hits him hard in the arm and he hugs her with one arm 'I will make an offer, hopefully this will be our house soon'.

She lays her head on his shoulder and caresses his leg, then they stand up holding hands and walk downstairs, they make an offer and leave the house waving goodbye to the woman, this time Mulder closes the gate while Scully waits in the car.

He gets in the car again sweating 'Woow Scully, that gate is heavy' she giggles looking at his expression and his sweat beaded forehead, he looks at her and cleans his forehead with his shirt making her looks into his abs, she looks away trying to control herself and replies with the voice in a higher tone than usual 'Not for me'

He looks at her smiling, he knows she was looking at him, he left her hanging and now she can't control herself, he decides then bend over to kiss her, she strokes his cheek and smiles closing her eyes, pulling him closer holding his neck with her other hand, he bite her lip and then sits straight in his sit again leaving her breathless, she bite her lip suppressing her desire and then puts her hand on his on the gear lever with a sigh, he smiles without looking at her knowing what she's feeling and he drives as fast as he can to the small apartment where they have lived for the last six months.

'We will have to buy many things to fill that house Scully' she looks at him one more time still with blushed cheeks, he smiles looking how adorable she looks.

'I know, but we can do it slowly, for now we will only worry about the most urgent, and we can take what we have in the apartment' she says the final words looking into his eyes and smiling widely, Mulder smirks seeing her amazing smile and leans down to kiss her faster

'But we should definitely buy a king size bed' She laughs and squeezes his hand feeling how finally he looks happy about their new life, he looks to the road again and bites his lower lip in a way that she can't resist.

'The only sure thing is that you must finish what you started' she says looking through the window, he turns to look at her again smiling without find her gaze and laughs 'now who is frustrated?' he laughs again making her let go his hand and cross her arms on her chest, he tickles her in the belly with his free hand and she raises an eyebrow trying not to laugh and looking at him again, 'Shut up Mulder!'

He parks and walks towards the apartment taking care not to be seen, after so much time they have become experts, when closing the door he holds her from the waist and carries her making her embrace his waist with her legs, she introduces her tongue sensually inside his mouth and he moans with pleasure as she takes control. He kisses her neck and she pulls her head back to give him more access to her clavicle, 'This is how I like my Scully' he walks with her to the bed and closes the door behind them with his foot.


	3. Chapter 3

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 3: Our Home

Two weeks later

Rural Virginia

Two days ago they received the keys to their new house and today they are moving, Mulder insisted on buying a giant bed and some things for the kitchen and living room, the other things are from the old apartment. Scully is happier than ever, although she doesn't say it Mulder knows it, but the truth is that he is also happy, finally a safe place for both and a normal life for her after all she has done for him. Mulder parks the car in front of the house, the people in charge of the move are inside finishing putting together some things, they will be in charge of fixing what is in the boxes later, both get out of the car and Mulder turns around to stay together to Scully, he crosses his arm over her shoulder and she holds his hand with both her hands looking at the house with enthusiasm

She turns a little towards him and holds his face with both her hands 'Our home Mulder, finally, a safe place for both of us' he holds her by the waist pulling her closer and looking into her bright blue eyes, she smiles looking at him and he kisses her forehead for a long time, then puts his chin upon her head 'I know, I'm very happy Scully' He can hear all his feelings on his voice, he is really happy now and that makes even happier, if that's possible. She smiles and kiss him putting her right arm under his neck putting her hand on his back making him bend, he smiles in her mouth and lift her making her gasp.

'Mulder, what are you doing?' she says with a trickle of voice with amazement, he laughs kissing her cheek and making her blush

'Carrying my beautiful partner through the door of our new home' She giggles and lay her head on his chest almost crying, two men that were putting the bed come downstairs and saw them, Scully hides her face on his neck while Mulder smile at them and thank him, the last man close the door behind him.

He laughs and try to make her look at him but she keeps hiding her face 'Who is ashamed?' she doesn't respond and he feel his heart melt, he puts her on the table forcing her to look at him, she tilt her face up and look into his eyes

'I'm happy too Mulder' he frowns and smiles trying to understand her answer but she keeps talking 'I know this isn't what you planned but I'm sure everything will get better Mulder, I'm just very happy to be with you and be safe for once… and share a home'

He lean down again and kiss her, she crosses her arms behind his neck and kiss him with passion, it's her way to say thank you and he is answering you're welcome, this dynamic always work for them, when they finally break their kiss to breath, she gets off the table and opens a box that is next to the kitchen holder, there's plates, glasses and other new utensils, Mulder laughs and lowers his head in surrender

'Are you going to leave me like this? after I carried you through the door?' she looks at him laying her head to one side and smirks, he raises his eyebrows and she answers raising her own eyebrow, he surrenders and lowers her face looking at the floor.

'We have to unpack Mulder, you know I can't stand the mess' he sighs pouting and she laughs at his childish expression, he looks at her again biting his lip trying to provoke her

'Well, you should have thought about that before you started what you were not going to finish'

She sighs and goes to hug him, taking him by the waist. She is his drug, she keeps him alive that's all he can think about, this little brave, strong, beautiful and amazing woman is his whole world, she tilt her face up and look into his eyes with so much love that he feel he can't breath.

'Come on Mulder, we just have to fix the most urgent things and then we go upstairs' he smiles with tenderness and takes a strand of her behind her ear caressing her cheek with his thumb.

'I was joking honey, let's do this and then we can have fun all over the house'

She smiles wickedly and reaches up to kiss him gently on the lips, then turns and walks back to the box, he sighs and goes to open another boxes in the living room thinking about the fun they will have when they finish.

Two hours later the first floor is ready, both look satisfied with the result and take a look around trying to imagine their life there. Mulder walks towards Scully and holds her from behind putting his head on her shoulder, she puts her hand on his strong arms and smile 'This definitely looks like a home, don't you think?' he kisses her cheek and looks around one more time following her gaze 'Well, this is what you did' he says smiling

She looks at him and turn around caressing his cheek and kissing his nose 'we did it' then she smiles and goes upstairs to continue on the second floor, he follows her running, making her run too between a laughter attack, he reaches her and carries her off the floor putting her on his shoulder, she screams in fright and continues laughing until he puts her on the bed 'Ok, now let's make this bed so we can finish what we started earlier'

She laughs and gets out of bed with his help, both are responsible for opening a box and find the sheets 'I got them' he says triumphant, Scully turns around and helps him with the sheets, then the bed covers, it's all white, clean and beautiful. Scully yawns and stretches her arms in a sign of fatigue, he smiles when he sees her and goes to take her by the waist carrying her to the bathroom 'Okay beautiful, let's go take a shower and then you'll go to sleep' she looks at him with her mouth open and her eyes narrowed, he raises his eyebrows waiting for her to speak 'What, but?... Alright, but together' he puts her down and kiss her temple smiling

'That sounds very good to me' he leans down to kiss her deeply on the lips and she hangs on his neck causing him to lose his balance, he smiles and recovers his position starting to pull her shirt over her head, she raises her arms and let him do the job, her hair falls in a cascade behind her back leaving all her essence in the bathroom, then he get in his knees and unbutton her pants sliding them down her legs, she puts her hands on his back for support while he finishes dragging them and throwing them on the floor, she turns around and he unbuttons her bra throwing it to the ground too, she turns again and he looks at her boobs biting his lower lip, her nipples hardens seeing his expression and he smirks watching her, then he get on his knees again and pull her tongue down her legs gently, when he stands again she is blushed and shivering a little.

He acts as fast as he can throwing all this clothing to the floor and following her under the warm water of the shower, she wrap her arms around him and lay her head on his chest, he feels a warm in his heart feeling her in his arms, he kisses her wet hair and she sighs, incredibly for him he isn't all horny having her that close being naked, he just feels in love and lucky to be next to that wonderful woman in his arms, she begins to tremble and so he wash her quickly and then take her to bed and tuck her in under the covers.

She feels like the luckiest woman in the world in his arms and in their own home, he gets under the covers with only boxers and a shirt, she clings to him to feel heat in her naked body and in a short time she fall asleep on top of his chest, he strokes her hair with tenderness and falls asleep beside the woman of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter Four: Finding a Job

One month later

Scully walks through the corridors of Our Lady of Sorrows, a Catholic-run medical facility that is close to home and that will allow her to have a normal life again, but this time with her true profession.

She walks nervous looking at everything, nuns and priests are seen by the runners who greet her as she passes, she feels uncomfortable and out of place. This morning she has the last interview with Father Ybarra, the chief Priest of the hospital, she would be part of the group of physicians in charge of the pediatric area, something that makes her happy and at the same time nervous, maybe being in contact with children makes her feel better about William or worsens her feelings towards her decision.

Mulder has been very positive about it, he wants by all means that Scully is happy and free again, nobody knows he is with her, not even suspect, the house is under name and they only have a car that also is under her name. He keeps busy writing about conspiracies and reading about others that are shared every day on the internet, his study is already a mess, full of newspaper clippings, books, magazines, the famous poster of their basement and the ceiling has already begun to collect some pencils, something that continues to be very funny to Scully.

Scully enters the priest's office, a large office on the third floor of the hospital, has a large oak desk in the center with two visitor seats and a large window behind, shelves full of books on both sides, next to the door in the right side there's a large virgin and some diplomas and a plant on the left side.

The priest greets her with a big smile and invites her to sit down, she feels a little shy but confident. The director is a thin, tall man with a calm voice, with a look that might seem compassionate but expresses many other things when talking 'Dana Scully, you have passed all the tests easily, and the doctors who have been with you have spoken to me very well about your work, now it is my turn to face the most difficult part, and ask about your personal life, I know it can be uncomfortable for you, but we need our doctors to give their best all the time'.

Scully looks at him nodding 'I understand father' The priest smiles and opens a folder that contains her resume, including her experience in the FBI, data about her family and about William.

'What compelled you to work in the FBI?' He says with a fast frown that didn't go unnoticed by Scully. She sighs and thinks about her first day at the bureau, she doesn't know what made them choose her for work with Mulder, but it was the best thing that could happen to her and at the same time the most difficult one.

She tries to give a short answer that doesn't show her feelings but satisfactory for the man 'Medicine has always been a fundamental part of my life, when I graduated from the University I felt that I could give much more in research, work to clarify mysteries and fight for justice, but also that allowed me to continue saving lives, that's why I think the FBI was the right place for me and I still believe it' at the end she feels that her answer didn't come out as expected but she can no longer change it.

The priest looks at her with interest and nods, looks again inside the folder and continues 'You had a son named William, he has only your last name, but you gave him up for adoption'. She nods swallowing 'Do you think you can work in the middle of children without being attached to them in a maternal way that would not be natural? I mean, in the event that you had a patient without a cure, will you feel that it is your obligation to save him so as not to lose him like you lost your son?' He remains with serious expression waiting for the answer.

Scully can't help but feel her heart stabbed just by hearing the name of her son, of course she would feel the need to save any sick child, but that is not the right answer here 'I believe that the duty of every doctor is to use all the resources necessary to save a patient, but I am aware that a doctor can not save the world, my relationship with children is very good, I have always felt attracted to protect them and take care of them, you can be sure that I will always do my job correctly and that I will know how to separate my personal life from my professional life as I've always done' She feels her cheeks get hot and she moves her hands nervously under the table, trying to look professional and secure.

The interview continues to talk about her family, her childhood and her current life situation, she lies assuring that she lives alone, she will have time to think about it later, when they are more secure. The priest seems pleased and she expects a positive response, she leaves the office feeling better about herself and hopeful about her future.

She goes down the stairs and before leaving she sees a couple of paramedics enter running with a small child on a stretcher to the emergency room, and she can't help but feel that beginning to work with children will be the most difficult experience of her life, William's image stays in her mind while she drives home.

Unremarkable House

2:50 pm

'Mulder, I'm home' she says closing the door behind her, he comes out of his "office" and looks at her with interest and smiling a little, she smiles back and goes to hug him, he embraces her with tenderness and kiss her forehead.

'How was it Doc?' he says while she pulls away and goes to the kitchen, he follows her searching for her face but she opens a cabinet and a serves a glass of water with her back to him 'How was the priest? Is he scary? Even I think all of them are scary' he says trying to light the conversation.

She turns around to see him drinking her water and smiling a little 'It was fine Mulder, I think I did it well' she finishes drinking looking to the floor and puts the glass on the sink, then she passes by him touching his chest briefly with her hand and goes upstairs to their room, he turns to look at her trying to understand her attitude, he is sure that the interview went well, if it was about her life it was ea... there it is, an interview about her personal life, that implies William, he knows that she will not want to talk about it, he sighs, it's always been complicated, even after five years and some confessions.

He tries to fix things as always 'Scully' she turns around halfway up the stairs to look at him 'if you need to talk, here I am' she nods with a half smile and continues on her way up the stairs.

He bites his lower lip and returns to his study, opens the drawer of his desk and takes a picture of William that she sent him four years ago in an email, he managed to print it in a store in New Mexico and that's what kept him alive for several months.

Although she doesn't believe it, he thinks of his son every day, returning to find he was gone was terrible, the first time she spoke to him a week after they fled it was one of the hardest days of his life, not being able to discovering the truth about her son and what made him special is something that still torments him, but he does not cry like Scully does, she was there, she decided to take him away from her in what was the most difficult decision of her life and that is a pain that does not belong to him.

He puts the photo back in the drawer and leaves the studio to go see Scully, she is lying in bed with her back to the door covered with a sheet to her shoulders, that is what she always does when she is sad and wants get away from the world. He takes off his shoes and climbs into bed hugging her from behind, she wipes away tears and sighs hugging his arm 'I'm sorry Mulder' he kisses her cheek and feels the moisture of her tears' He asked me about William and I could not help remembering, I'm sorry' he closes his eyes and continues with his lips on her cheek, she sighs deeply and tries to calm down, she knows how difficult it is for Mulder to talk about the subject because he feels guilty.

'It's okay Scully, don't worry, I understand you, just breathe honey, I'm here' she smiles bitterly and turns to look at him 'don't cry Scully, please stop blaming yourself' she moves closer to him and kisses his lips.

'Thank you Mulder, for accepting my tantrums all the time' he laughs and kisses her forehead, they remain embraced for a while until he feels hungry.

'Do you want me to ask for something to eat?' he says kissing her hand tenderly, she nods pouting 'You want Chinese food, pizza or something new' she thinks for a few seconds lying on his chest

'I think I have a craving for pizza' she says smiling and thinking how lucky she is to have Mulder with her, he understands her and always makes her feel better, she sighs breathing his scent.

'Alright, I also want pepperoni pizza' he tries to get out of bed, but she grabs him by the arm to force him to stay with her, he looks at her smiling and kisses her forehead, she lays down under his neck and draws forms with her finger on his chest.

'I love you Mulder, thank you' he laughs when he listens to her, that's a statement he doesn't hear very often but that always warms his heart 'I love you too Scully'


	5. Chapter 5

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 5: Remembering the pain

Two months later

Our lady of Sorrows

5: 25 pm

Scully walks to her office in the hospital, the whole morning she dealt with the case of a small girl of eight years in terminal stage of Leukemia, the last two weeks were the hardest and today after all her efforts she passed away, it is time to go home but she prefers to stay in the office for a while, she is the first patient to die in front of her eyes, she knows that it is normal given her place of work, but as she had thought before, it has been more difficult to what she originally imagined, she see William everywhere in each little face, this is something she can't talk about, not even with Mulder, her son keeps been a difficult subject to deal with, Mulder seems always distant when she remembers him, it's as if he wants to erase that past, so she tries to hide it all the time.

She locks the door and sits at the desk, opens the drawer and takes a small picture of William, there she is holding him in her arms, the picture was taken by her mother and Mulder only saw it once. Tears begin to cloud her sight and she tries to calm herself by breathing deeply, this can't keep happening, she should look for some way to avoid reliving her pain every time she sees a child in the eyes, she needs to talk to Mulder, they must find a way to talk about her son and make the pain stop, she decides to go home and talk to him.

The Unremarkable House

6:45 pm

Scully parks her car in front of the house and Mulder goes out to wait for her on the porch, his face is worried, she looks at her watch and understands his expression, she sighs and turns off the engine, then grabs her bag and coat and walks towards the house, climb the stairs and half smiles at Mulder, he comes and hugs her tight breathing the scent of her hair 'I was worried about you, you never arrive so late' she pulls away a little and nods entering the house, he looks surprised, he doesn't like her expression, her eyes are read that only means something, she's been crying, he knows they must talk.

She puts her things on the table in the living room and sits on the sofa, she is tense and apparently sad too, he sits next to her pulling his body forward and putting his elbows on his knees looking at her, she sighs closing her eyes and opens them again looking at him in the eyes, she can see that he is worried about her and that is not her intention.

He waits for her to talk, there must be something important, she leans forward too and holds his hand 'I lost a patient today, she died right in front of me, I couldn't save her' her voice breaks and she can't keep talking, he frowns and embrace her with his left arm, she rest her head in his shoulder sobbing a little.

He knows where this conversation is going and isn't sure if his ready, even is an important conversation he prefers avoid the pain, he need it to keep going with his life. When Skinner told him about the adoption it was the hardest news he ever faced, he cried the whole night in his celd, finding out that Scully was expecting her son was a great joy, much more after knowing that she was barren, but the miracle happened and spending the last two months of her pregnancy by her side was one of the best experiences of his life, feeling his son kicking in her belly and see the happiness of that wonderful woman at his side gave him great joy, then holding his son in his arms and feel the scent of baby impregnated in his chest, was something surreal and wonderful, leave them was the most difficult decision of his life, both cried, holding each other for long minutes, and like her, he thought he was doing it to protect them.

He definitely doesn't want to relive his pain again, it's too much, and it must be even worse for her. But she need this and he needs to be strong one more time for her.

She sighs whipping her tears away and her voice is almost a whisper 'I know that this conversation has been evaded many times Mulder, but I need to leave this pain behind, much more now that every new patient makes me see WIlliam ... I'm sorry' he caresses her hair and kiss her forehead 'It's ok, we both need this Scully… we really do, it's my fault' she moves away from him frowning and puts her hand on his cheek tenderly 'If we gonna do this, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything, that's not true, ok?' he nods kissing the palm of her hand.

They remain silent for a while holding hands, 'I thought I was strong, but making that decision for both of us was the hardest thing I've done in my life... and I'm sorry because I pulled you away from him, because I had to make the decision alone being selfish' she swallows feeling a lump on her throat 'but I still love him and I think in him every day of my life and, I imagine everything he does or says... sometimes I imagine our life together, and it's torture Mulder, I don't want to feel this, I don't want to make you feel bad with my pain, I just want him to be happy even if it is not with us' he hug her protectively and she cries for a while in his chest.

They lay down in the back of the sofa and close their eyes, she tries to calm down breathing slowly 'I miss him so bad' she opens her eyes and look at him, tears fall down his cheeks, he continues 'I know I haven't told you this because I felt my only obligation was to keep you safe of your own sadness being the strong one' he stops and Scully looks at him with eyes wide open full of tears, he still has his eyes closed but tears keep falling down his cheeks 'I never dreamt with kids, but you made me the happiest man on earth, I know our life will never be normal Scully, but I'm really sorry you have to lose what you wanted so badly for so many years, I feel I lost a part of myself with him too' she begins to sob and hold him tight embracing him by the waist, he moves forward and also hugs her by passing his arms over hers and laying his head on her shoulder, both of them cry feeling the pain of their lost son 'I also imagine our life together, and I think about him everyday, I just try to avoid the pain being the strong one'

'I am so sorry Mulder, thank you for always thinking about me first, but your pain is very important for me, I thought that you didn't care and I was so wrong, please forgive me' he kiss her cheek and then kiss her lips, their kiss is salty with the tears, she cross her arms over his neck and keep kissing him 'I'm sorry too Scully, if this job is too much, just quit' she look at him frowning and swallowing, she break the embrace and looks down, that's not an option she even consider, she wanna help people, even more if they are children, she thinks for a moment looking at him, he knows she is struggling with her emotions, medicine is her life now and she loves children, but if this is too much he can't let her do it anymore 'I think you should really think about it Scully, this might be your job for the rest of your life and I don't wanna see you sad all the time'

She looks at him pouting and caresses his cheek with a half smile 'I know Mulder, I'll think about it tonight, okay?' he nods and kisses her forehead tenderly, then they go upstairs to their room embraced and they go to sleep feeling more relieved.


	6. Chapter 6

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 6: Happy New Year

One year later

Unremarkable House

The Christmas decorations illuminate the path that leads to the house, Scully drives to the front of the house, turn off the engine and take two bags out of the trunk, look towards the house but Mulder hasn't come to receive her, she still needs to remove other things and some help wouldn't be bad, she leave the car open and climb the stairs, knock on the door because she still has the purse in the car but there is no answer, she leaves the bags on the floor and go to the car for the purse and take out the keys, she decides hang the purse on her shoulder and take out the other two bags that are missing and close the doors. She places the other two bags on the floor while opening both doors, inside it is complete darkness, it's strange that Mulder is not in the house, that worries her, but first she leaves the purse on the table next to the door and picks up two bags, as she can she turns on the light with her elbow and then she hear a 'surprise' from the mouth of several people who make her jump and drop one of the bags that Mulder manages to grab in the air 'Jesus' she says trying to breath again, everybody laughs, even Mulder who is now behind her with his hand on her shoulder, she looks around and her eyes begin to tear. 'Mom, oh my god' Margaret Scully walks toward her and hug her tightly 'Oh mom, I missed you so much' her mom pulls her away looking at her.

'I missed you too sweetie, look at that long hair, you look beautiful' both women smile and Scully cups her mother face with her free hand

'I'm sorry mom, I love you' Mulder takes her bag and John goes for the other ones that are outside, when mother and daughter finish their reunion, Scully finally goes and say hello to their guests, Doggett and Skinner, she is extremely happy, she can't believe all of them are in her house, she goes to the kitchen where Mulder is unpacking her shopping and serving some drinks 'Thank you Mulder, this is the greatest present ever' she says hugging him from behind, he looks at her over his shoulder and smiles.

See her happy is his biggest present 'You're welcome honey' she smiles resting her head on his back 'I didn't wanted to see you sad another year, and we are fine now' she turn him around looking for his eyes, he give her that sweet look he always use when he is happy.

She smiles again and force him to bend down to kiss him, he kiss her smiling and holding her waist with one hand 'I love you Mulder, you know that right?' he nods and kiss her again speaking on her lips 'Oh yeah' she laughs and help him finish then both go to the living room with the drinks.

'I'm glad to see you two' says John smiling at them while receiving a drink from Mulder's tray, Scully sits next to her mother and hold her hand, she can't believe she is here, especially after their fight about William, she is just so grateful to see her mom, she is older, her hair is starting to get gray and she looks weaker, she definitely must find a way to visit her 'So how is work Dana? Are you enjoying your new life?' Scully looks at her with tenderness, answer that question is complicated but she doesn't wanna worry her.

She squeeze her hand and look at her 'It's good mom, the hospital is beautiful and I love help people' everybody look at her and she look at them a little nervous 'I'm in the pediatrics section and we have achieved several successful treatments, it is incredible to see the amount of diseases that a child can get, I feel satisfied to be able to help them' Maggie looks down and Scully knows what she is thinking, she let go her hand and sighs, Mulder see how tense she is and stand up, go for her and make her follow him to the dining room, Scully stands and goes with him.

Mulder turn around and face Scully smiling 'I know you needed to stand up, I know this can be hard, even more with your mom here' Scully nods and looks towards the living room to her mom who is frowning, Mulder caresses her forearm and kisses her cheek, then go and sits next to Margaret and they start to talk, she smiles, Mulder always knows what to do, Skinner can't help it and goes to talk with Scully, Doggett follows him 'How are the things with Mulder?' Scully turns to see him a little blush, John laughs and Skinner follows him.

Both look at Mulder 'He's great, I have a good life with him, he's a great support' she looks at both men again and John nods smiling 'I'm glad you are fine Dana, you deserve it' he gets a box from the table and give it to her 'I brought you something' Scully looks at the present and sighs

'Oh god John, you shouldn't have, this is so unfair, I didn't know you were coming' John smiles giving her the present, Scully take it and shake it a little as to know what's inside.

'Don't do that, you can break it' he says almost yelling, all the others look at the them with interest, Skinner laughs coming near them 'Nice joke Agent Doggett' Scully look at them with interest raising an eyebrow 'I hope this is not some kind of joke' that caughts Mulder's attention and approaches, stopping after Scully to see the gift when she opens it, Scully smiles looking at her friends and unwraps the gift with care "The fun is to destroy the paper Scully" she looks over her shoulder and he winks with mischief, John laughs waiting to see the reaction of both to the gift, Skinner is already laughing and Margaret looks frowning without understand what is happening.

Scully opens her eyes and mouth seeing the gift, while Mulder takes one of the shirts smiling and puts it immediately on top of his 'You gotta be kidding me' says Scully still in shock, Mulder turns to look at Maggie showing her the shirt 'Look at this, how awesome is this, well I assume this is mine, right' he says turning again to John and Skinner.

John laughs and nods putting her hand on Scully's shoulder 'I'm sorry Dana, that's a joke, actually your present is here, but we knew it will be good for Mulder' he smiles kissing Scully's hair 'What? You don't want a shirt with our poster? I think is cool!' she turns around to look at him raising an eyebrow 'Ok, it's a good present for me, but you can still wear it for sleep, right?' she gets a little blushed hearing him talk about their intimacy with other people in the room, he understands her expression and whisper on her ear 'Stop blushing, they will laugh of you' she hit his arm and opens her present, it's a beautiful bracelet that Scully immediately wear it thanking both men, then she walks toward the kitchen to make dinner, her mom go with her, she tries to say no but Maggie is as stubborn as her and stay to help, they talk about the house and how far it is from everything, meanwhile Skinner, John and Mulder open some beers and have a sit outside in the porch, the evening is cold but they are wearing coats and the beer helps, Skinner has been quiet but he has many questions 'How is Dana, Mulder? Is she ok with the situation?' Mulder takes a sip of beer and sits leaning his elbows on his knees and holding the beer in both his hands 'She's fine, she's doing well in the hospital, but treating young children has been difficult, for William you know, but for now we're Well, thank you Walter' Skinner sits next to Mulder and John stands leaning against the railing of the corridor 'And what about you Mulder? Isn't it strange to be in this house all the day?' asks John with a bit of interest and concern. 'I don't know you very well Mulder, but I'm sure of something, you can not sit still'

Mulder smiles bitterly and looks towards the dark horizon 'I am fine Agent Doggett, the truth is that Scully is a great incentive in my life and I must do it for her' both men nod and watch as the women prepare the table, Scully comes outside to call them 'Oh God, come inside, what a horrible cold, dinner is ready' she says hugging herself and shaking. Mulder gets up and goes to hug her walking with her inside the house, before sitting at the table he kisses her on the forehead, Margaret looks at them with interest, she is glad that her daughter is calm and happy despite she doesn't accept all her decisions.

Everyone eats and talks animated, when it's almost midnight, Mulder opens a bottle of champagne and everyone drinks ready to toast. Everyone does the countdown until wishing a Happy New Year to each other, Mulder takes Scully from the waist and draws her to him kissing her sweetly on the lips, Scully can't help a blush but corresponds to his kiss with love, one more year next to Mulder feeling as the happiest woman in the world.

Two hours later and before getting drunk, John and Skinner say goodbye while Margaret stays for the night, Scully will take care of taking her back home.

Scully arranges the second-floor guest room, is a little separated from their room and has its own bathroom, Margaret goes to sleep immediately, age makes her feel tired more easily, she says goodbye to her mother and goes downstairs again to see Mulder who is sitting on the couch.

She climbs onto the couch sitting next to him with her legs pulled to the side and laying her body on his chest, he crosses an arm behind her shoulder to hug her. 'Thank you Mulder, this has been the best New Year celebration' she raises her head and stares into his eyes 'I love you so much' he kisses her pulling her closer to him, breaking their kiss they both look at each other and smile, then he kiss her again.

'I guess this surprise was not so bad' she laughs and lies back in his chest 'I just want you to be happy Scully' he kisses her hair and then rests his head on hers, a few minutes later they go upstairs hugging each other and go to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 7: A birthday

February 23rd 2008

Unremarkable House

It's seven o'clock on Sunday morning, Mulder wakes up to feel Scully's face covering his chest and part of his arm and shoulder with her long hair, the week was long and difficult for her but today is her birthday and he wants that she forget everything, that she thinks that they are the only people in the world, he puts a strand of hair behind her ear and look at her face in detail, she has long lashes and beautiful eyebrows, he runs them with his finger, she sighs moving a little but she doesn't wake up, the he look at her nose, so little and perfect and her lips, so kissable, with a perfect pink, she opens her eyes slowly and he looks into her eyes, that wonderful blue with a tint of green in the center, like the ocean. She smiles looking him back, he leans down and kisses her eyelids making her sigh again, she caresses his naked chest making him moan 'Good morning birthday girl' she says in a scratchy and sexy voice, she smiles again and kiss his neck 'Morning Mulder' she says while kissing him. He kiss her deeply playing with his tongue on her lips, she does the same moaning a little and putting her whole body upon his, he hold her crossing his arms on her back, he broke their kiss to breath and look into her blue eyes again, those wells of pure water shine with happiness while her lips smile at him.

'Happy Birthday honey' she kisses him again and caresses his hair 'Thank you Mulder, what are we gonna do today?' he smiles kissing her forehead and breathing her scent 'It's a surprise, come on, let's take a shower' he says taking her by the waist and then lifting her out of bed towards the bathroom, she giggles crossing her arms on his neck and biting his earlobe, he laughs losing a little balance and then puts her down over the carpet inside the bathroom, she immediately raise her arms for him to take her shirt off, he slides up her shirt kissing her arms and forehead, she laughs feeling tickles by his kisses.

He sees her naked breasts and feels how an erection begins, he takes off his pants and throws them away, then kneels and slides her pants down her legs, she raises her feet so he finishes taking them out and leaves them on the floor, then he grabs her, taking her by the waist and kissing her lower belly causing her to moan again, then grabs her thong with her teeth making her tremble with desire and slowly lowers it causing her breathing to accelerate, after throwing the thong to the floor, returns to stay at the height of her belly and slowly kisses her belly down to her clit making her moan a 'Mulder' choked with desire, he goes back up slowly rising while covering her body with kisses putting special emphasis on her breasts, licking her nipples and ending with a bite that makes her release a small cry of pleasure, he smiles pleased and then removes his boxers, is when she looks at his erection and bites her lower lip, he lifts her towards him and she hugs him with her legs crossing her arms on his neck, he leans her against the wall to hold her and lower her a bit and be able to penetrate her, she gasps when she feels him penetrates her, she leans her head against the wall breathing hard, he begins to move slowly inside her, going in and out a bit but still being inside her, breathing fast while resisting her weight on him. She follows his rhythmic movement making his legs tremble, it is when he squeezes her more against the wall while she holds him tightly, he starts sweating from the effort and sinks his head into her neck, she arches her back beginning to feel how an orgasm begins to emerge, he gasps and she takes his face with her hand asking him to look her in the eyes, he looks at her smiling and she kisses him passionately, he feels that soon he will not be able to resist it, so she looks at him tenderly 'I'm ready honey, I want to feel you inside me, do it' he kisses her again and that's when an orgasm hits them and they squeal hard inside the other's mouth, she throws her head back again screaming with pleasure and he sinks his head back into her neck moaning 'Scullaaayyy, I love you' his legs don't resist anymore and when the last spasms of orgasm stop hitting him, he put her on the floor, then both of them get into the shower leaning against each other smiling 'Well this is a good way to start the day' she says hugging him, he kisses her forehead 'This is just the beginning, so we better move'

They take a brief shower, then get ready, he tells her to get ready for a day full of snow, so she looks for all her winter clothes.

While she gets ready he makes breakfast, a bowl of dietetic yogurt, almonds, raisins, strawberries and blueberries, he listens to her while she walks down the stairs and put the bowls on the table and then walks towards her, when he sees her he keeps his mouth open making her smile a little blushed, he offers her his hand so that she finishes lowering the last two scales and he gives her a turn to look at her completely, she laughs falling in his arms while he takes her by the waist pulling her towards him, she looks into his eyes and he bends down to kiss her 'you are more beautiful than ever' she smiles and kisses the tip of his nose 'come on Mulder, I'm wearing a lot of clothes' he smirks and kiss her again 'so what? You don't have to show yuor body to be perfect honey' she pouts and kiss him harder this time, then he walks with her to the table and seeing the bowls she turns to look at him smiling and pouting 'wow Mulder, this is what you're going to eat?' he nods and smiles 'I want to look as good as you, maybe what you eat is the secret' he says with a wink, she laughs and caresses his cheek kissing him lightly 'this birthday can't get any better Mulder, thanks' he laughs pulling a chair away so she sits and then he sits next to her 'remember, this is just the beginning'

They both eat, but when he taste it, he makes a face of disgust making her laugh out loud 'how can you eat this Scully? it's too healthy, it lacks flavor' she strokes his hair and pulls him towards her to kiss him again 'you don't have to do it honey, you can eat something else, really' he shakes his head and takes another bit to his mouth pretending it's delicious, she lightly hits him on the arm and continues eating.

Later they go out, Scully gets nervous, what if someone follows them, if they finally find them, she doesn't like Mulder leaving the house, she holds his hand and he feels her sweating 'Don't worry Scully, it's ok, we're gonna be ok, it's been two years, we are safe' he says kissing her hand, she nods sighing and looking to the road 'Where are we going Mulder?' she says trying to calm her nerves gazing Mulder again, he turns to see her again 'Well, you won't get an answer to that missy, I'll just tell you that it will not be easy to be seen' she raises an eyebrow with half a smile

* * *

Wintergreen Resort

Four hours later

'Oh my god Mulder, no way' she says with a serious expression, he smiles and caresses her cheek 'What? Scully come on! Don't you wanna try something new?' she raises an eyebrow and lick her lower lip sighing, 'I don't know' he denies with his head smiling, she is so adorable 'Just relax honey, I have everything under control' she looks outside the window trying to remain calm, she really wants to enjoy the trip but she can't stop being worried about Mulder, even everything has been quiet and safe, it's just her nature. He parks the car and get their bags 'What is that Mulder?' he smiles getting closer to her 'We are staying tonight Scully' she opens her mouth in disbelief 'When? But… I' he puts one bag in the floor and put his finger upon her lips 'It's your birthday, and I think I owe you a lot of celebrations, you always surprise me with something but I don't, so is time for me to do this for you, can you just relax and enjoy it?' she sighs with teary eyes, he holds her and kiss her forehead 'Don't worry about me, ok? We are fine' she nods still laying on his chest and embrace him with both her arms, then look at him and smile 'I love you Mulder' he wipe her tears and kiss her 'I love you too Scully'.

The resort is amazing, Scully is very surprised with Mulder, having made reservations and planned everything with time to surprise her, it shows that he doesn't have much to do these days. They go to the room and leave the bags, then they go out to look for something to have lunch, Mulder wants to take her to ski and although that scares her, she wants to do it for him, they find a great restaurant, both ask Chocolate with marshmallows for the end.

Then Mulder surprise Scully with a beautiful blue and pink waterproof jacket, she raises an eyebrow because she already knows a joke is coming 'This one is not oversized, I thought you had enough bad fashion decisions' she can't help but laugh 'Shut up Mulder, the 90's weren't good with you either, and I don't wanna wear that, what if more bugs come hunt me?' he goes and hug her, she is really cold 'Well, you will die freezed anyway, so is one way or the other' she sighs looking up into his eyes 'Sure, fine, whatever… but I hope this is really a nice trip to the forest' she says raising an eyebrow, he bends down and kiss the tip of her nose and then help her with the jacket, now her outfit is complete, she looks beautiful, black pants with grey boots and socks, white shirt with grey coat and the new jacket, light grey hat with pink goggles and black mittens 'You look adorbs honey… now let's rent the ski equipment, I'm sure your skis will be just as little as you' she hit him hard in the arm 'Ouch, nothing hurts like the truth' she hit him again frowning 'Come on Scully, you know I love you just like you are' she sighs and he puts his arm over her shoulders while they walk to the rent house.

He rents equipment for both, but the only thing he wants is to teach her, he's sure she'll have fun. They get some gray skiing, with blue boots and pink ski poles, perfect for her current outfit, what's funny is that he is all in black and blue, just like her, they are the perfect match 'Alright Scully, let's get to that mountain, are you ready?' She looks at him with a nervous expression, he kiss her forehead while help her with her skis 'Honey, I won't let you fall, well, at least not too hard' she pouts breathing hard 'Scully look at me' she looks at him with worried eyes 'What's the matter? If you wanna stay down here is fine, we will find something to do instead' she denies with her head and hug him 'I'm sorry Mulder, I don't know why I'm scare, but I don't wanna ruin this' he holds her by the shoulder and bends down looking straight into her eyes 'You aren't ruining anything, I just want you to be happy, so whatever you wanna do is fine for me' she hug him again resting her head on his chest holding him tight 'I want you to teach me skiing' he smiles caressing her hair 'I can do that' they look at each other and smile, then he help her to walk towards the chairlifts, they get safe to the top of the mountain, he begin with the basic snow plow and it becomes more difficult that he thought, her short legs make it difficult and at the first try she falls, he can't help it but laugh, how is that possible, it's the basic, he goes to help her stand 'Are you ok?' she nods with red cheeks, he doesn't know if is blush or is just the cold but she looks so cute 'Let's try again, ok?' she nods again.

After a good couple of hours, she is ready for some slipping, he finally puts on his skis and follows her down on almost flat ground, she can turn properly and stop when she wants too, after a few minutes she is smiling, he smiles with her, she is happy, it wasn't a bad idea after all, she seems to be enjoying herself, she stops and he turns around her staying in front of her, then open his legs to slide his skies outside of hers and kiss her, she holds her poles with one hand and put her other hand upon his neck kissing him deeper 'This is the best birthday ever Mulder, thank you' he smiles on her lips and keeps kissing her.

The stay there another day but she doesn't ski anymore, they spend some time together next to the fireplace making love in the carpet, it's like a honeymoon, some quality time they were needing after all the stress they have faced.


	8. Chapter 8

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 8: A new case

A week later

Scully drives home, Agent Drummy is looking for Mulder, the x files are coming back, is this good news or really bad news, if the FBI wants his help is his way out of the house, she doesn't wanna see him there all the time, but she doesn't want him obsessed again, she gets down of the car and opens the metal gate, if everything gets better they should get rid of that gate, it's becoming heavier with time. She continues driving up the long track to the house. She has to tell him, maybe this is good, maybe he can really help them.

She enters the house, undoes her coat leaving her bag in a table, then goes into Mulder's "office" and he is sitting there with his back to the door 'What's up, doc?' he says without turn around, she looks at the room putting her hands on her coat pockets 'You've become awfully trusting Mulder, for a man wanted by the FBI' he tries to smile listening to her 'Eyes in the back of my head, Scully. "Auf einer Wellenlänge", as the Germans say. It's a precognitive state often confused with simple human intuition, in which the brain perceives the deep logic underlying transitory human existence, unaided by the conscious mind, materializing much as you did just now' he turns in the chair to look at her 'Though if you'd actually materialized, you'd be rapidly de-materializing. But who believes that crap anymore?' she makes a funny face, he stands smiling 'Well, they do at the FBI apparently. I had a visitor today, Mulder. The FBI want your help finding a missing agent' he walks towards a wall and pins a newspaper article on a board 'Well, I hope you told them go screw themselves'

Here it goes, how can she convince him, after all the pain, after all the stress, after being hiding for years, this was a bad idea 'They say all is forgiven. That they'll drop all charges against you if you come in and help them solve this case' she knows it doesn't sound right but what can sh do about it? Nothing, he turns to look a her in disbelief 'The FBI will forgive me. They put me on trial on bogus charges and tried to discredit a decade of my work, they should be asking me for my forgiveness, Scully' he is so right and she sighs 'I think they are... Desperately' he looks at her, she is struggling, same as he is, so he tries to be a little friendly 'How can I possibly help these people?' he says while sitting again 'Someone's come forward with some promising evidence. A psychic, he claims' that's maybe funnier for her that it is for him 'It's a trick, Scully, to smoke me out' she raises an eyebrow trying to lie to herself and to him 'Mulder, if the FBI wanted to get you, I have no doubt that they could. I think they've just been happy to have you out of their hair' that surprises him, last week she was worried they were going out for her birthday, what made her change her mind 'Oh good, because I am just as happy having them out of mine' he is lying too, this was definitely a bad idea 'A young agent's life is at stake. Mulder, I know I don't have to say this , but it could have been you once, or me. You know, the truth is, I worry about you, and the effects of long-term isolation' he chuckles, she is telling the truth again and yes, her worries are true, she has been worried about him for a long time now 'I'm fine here. Happy as a clam' he says while biting a sunflower seed, Scully looks up at the pencils on the ceiling 'I'll tell them your answer' she leaves the room closing the door behind her, Mulder looks at the closed door on which there are many press cuttings, plus a photograph of young Samantha, his reason to investigate, his entire life, Scully maybe is right 'Shit' he has to do it, his duty is to save people, he stands and opens the door 'Okay, I'll go…' she smiles a little 'Under one condition' she sighs to his last words, that only means one thing, and she can't do it 'Oh no Mulder, you know I can't, that isn't my life anymore, I have a job' he walks closer to her and puts a hand on her shoulder 'I can't go alone Scully, you are my partner, and always will be' she denies with her head closing her eyes 'Please Mulder, I…' she opens her eyes and looks into his eyes 'I can't, I had enough' he turns and puts his hand on his waist thinking, then turns again to look at her, she is frowning 'Scully, I need you… and you they came to you' she raises an eyebrow and sighs 'That's not fair, they don't know how to reach you, and they didn't ask for me'

She sits in the coach reclining her head back, he goes and sits next to her, her eyes are closed so he leans down to her and kiss her lips 'I need support here Scully, I know you have a job and a new life, but you wanna help me right? You just have to come and see with me what's going on, then you can go back, just… just don't leave me alone' she sighs and holds his hand 'You can be a blackmailer, you know?' he laughs and take her hand to his lips and kiss it, she keeps her gaze on him 'Alright, I'll go with you, but if this seems silly, don't expect me to stay, understood?' he nods and leans down to kiss her again, this time she kiss him harder.

This situation scares her, when he starts something he doesn't leave until he finishes it, always putting his own life in danger, she is afraid to lose him, she has never liked the idea of him being locked up, but to return to the FBI and start investigating, obsessing again with the x files, it's so unexpected, it is difficult for her and she can not deny it 'promise me that if you stay to investigate, you will be careful ... promise me Mulder' he looks at her with tenderness, all this must be difficult for her, he still doesn't know how she gathered the courage to tell him, she could have simply not done it, almost six years without contact with the FBI, two years without seeing Skinner, seven years without the x files, she must be afraid, and the truth is that he is also afraid, what if he is no longer good for that? What if he already lost his touch? He must promise, he owes it to her 'I promise'.


	9. Chapter 9

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 9: Jealousy

Mulder walks away, past Scully, saying nothing to her, Scully watches him go. She shouldn't have said that, she doesn't blame him. Joe is standing behind her, she suddenly senses this and whirls round to face him with fear 'Don't give up' he says to her with a serious expression, she shivers and hurries away following Mulder without looking at the man again but she feels he is still staring at her in her neck, she walks faster and sees Mulder talking with Agent Whitney so she walks past them towards the car raising an eyebrow, she doesn't like the way that woman looks at him, she has always being jealous but the last time was a long time ago, she gets in the passenger seat and waits, he has to come.

Fifteen minutes later he climbs into the car in silence without looking at her 'I'm gonna stay here Scully, you can go back home' she sighs closing her eyes and licking her upper lip, he looks at her, she is obviously disappointed, but he is too, Samantha is the past, a painful past 'I'm sorry Mulder, I know what I said was wrong but I can't really do this anymore, I'm sorry' her eyes are still closed,

he looks out, detailing the snowflakes that fall on the windshield, the truth is he doesn't know what to say, the case is not over, he wants to know what's under that layer of ice, even if the agent is dead, maybe they can do something else to solve the case and save other lives. 'I've also said things I did not want to say' She opens her eyes and looks at him, she has a sad look, even though he is not looking straight at her, she can feel it. She takes his hand and squeezes it, he turns to look at her for the first time 'I need to know if I can do something else here' he says in a pleading tone, she frowns and shakes her head 'I know Mulder, and it's okay, I can not change you, I don't want to, I'm sorry' he turns his body towards her and she does the same, then he leans down and puts his forehead on hers 'I know what you're feeling Scully, but I'm gonna be fine' she pulls away and look into his eyes concerned 'I really hope you can help them Mulder' he holds her neck and moves her closer to him to kiss her, she corresponds to his kiss with sweetness and smile 'I'm gonna talk with Whitney, I guess I can come back later, I wanna take you home' she holds his arm trying to stop him 'You don't have to Mulder, I can go home alone' he denies with his head and kiss her forehead 'But I don't want you to' she smiles and let me go, she sees him go towards agent Whitney and she can't help but feel a little jealous.

'I'm going home now, call me when everything is ready, ok?' he says to Whitney, she looks at him with surprise 'I thought you would stay, well that's what you said before' he nods and puts his hand on her shoulder 'I know, I just can't let her go alone, not at this hour, and the work here can take hours' she sighs and nods 'You're right, I was just hoping for some company' she says with an expression he can only interpret as flirty, he pulls his hand off her shoulder and looks towards the car, he can see Scully's tired face 'I'm sorry, I need to go, I need to go home with Scully' she looks at him surprised and a little embarrassed 'Oh, I'm sorry, I ... see you later then' he nods and walks to the car, she turns to look at him and sees in the car the agent Scully looking at her, she embarrassed waves her hand to her and waits until Mulder gets in the car, Scully makes a short movement with her head to greet her back, Mulder turns on the car and backs onto the road.

He looks at Scully, she is serious again looking towards the road 'What's wrong Scully?' she looks outside the window trying to avoid his gaze 'Nothing' he drives with disgust, he knows she was looking at him, and she realized what Whitney did, but it's not his fault, he didn't give her hints of anything, she was the one that misunderstood things 'Come on Scully, don't be jealous' she cut him off raising her voice 'I'm not jealous' he can't help it but laugh 'I know you honey, you are, and you don't have to worry, I love you Scully' she keeps looking outside and sighs 'I don't like that Agent' he smiles looking at her 'She is a good Agent, she is trying Scully' she turns to look at him 'I know she is... ok, I'm jealous' he stops in a street light and caresses her cheek 'I only have eyes for you Scully' she moves closer to him and kiss him 'I'm sorry, I hope you can solve the case anyway Mulder, you deserve it' he nods and drives again holding her hand on top of the gear lever.

She gets distracted again but this time he lets her think, the only thing he doesn't know is what she thinks now, but her head is a whirlwind of things, Agent Whitney, her patient Christian and the words of Father Joe 'Don't give up' She can hear it in her mind again and again, what does he mean by that? what could he refer to? Does he know anything about her life? about her profession? about her relationship with Mulder? All this is crazy, the FBI always revolves her life and complicates everything, always questioning her faith. She sighs and closes her eyes reclining her head on the back of the seat 'Are you okay Scully?' she turns her head a little to look at him

'Yes, I'm just tired, what time is it?' he looks at the car clock 'wow, it's 3:56 in the morning' she closes her eyes again 'Sleep a little while we get to the house, what time is your turn?' she frowns thoughtfully 'at 10 o'clock, and most likely is twelve hours' he snorts tiredly and caresses her cheek with tenderness 'I'm sorry Scully, you should not have come'

She thinks for a moment with her eyes closed, she was the one who prompted him to get involved in the case, but he is the one who is helping them, maybe he is right, she has done enough, he forced her, but she actually enjoyed the time closer to him, remembering old times.

'You're right, but I enjoyed this time with you' he smiles pleased, and then let her close her eyes again, she fall asleep in a couple of minutes and he looks at her.

That woman is his whole life, she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she makes him happy, she follows him even when she doesn't want to and he is grateful for that.

They arrive home an hour and a half later, is snowing a lot, he wakes her with a kiss in her cheek 'Wake up sleeping beauty, we are home' she frowns and opens her eyes slowly watching towards the house 'I'm tired' he smiles kissing her again 'I know, let me take you inside' she nods and he gets off the car and turns around to help her, but he holds her carrying her to the front door, she hugs him tightly shaking with cold, he puts her down by the door and opens as fast as he can turning on the heating.

She goes into the house and walks straight to the kitchen to make some tea 'Do you want Mulder?' he nods and sits down at the kitchen counter looking at her 'what are you going to do with your patient Scully?' she turns to look at him reclining herself int the counter 'I still don't know, I just hope I can help him' she says with a sad face and weariness.

Both remain silent until she serves the tea and gives a glass to Mulder, both sit at the table thoughtfully facing each other, he looks at her with a half smile on his face 'what happens?' she asks him noticing his gaze, he smiles broadly while still looking at her 'you are beautiful Scully, did you know?' she blushes a little and hides her smile drinking a little tea without stopping looking at him, so many words through those looks, so many silences that scream a thousand phrases of love, a single glance and both know the meaning 'Let's go to sleep, it'll be a long day' he says standing up and reaching for her, she takes his hand leaving the glass on the table and follows him upstairs.


	10. Chapter 10

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 10: Don't leave me

Cabell Huntington Hospital

West Virginia

4:28 am

Scully has been by Mulder's bedside for more than two hours. As well as the victims, he was given Acepromazine which caused him to lose a lot of fluids and also the conscience, after an hour in chaos they finally managed to stabilize him. Skinner was with her for two hours but had to return to DC, since then she has been at his side waiting for him to wake up.

Although she is exhausted she doesn't want to leave him alone, he needs her right now. Suddenly Mulder moves the hand she is holding and she looks up to see him, he licks his dry lips and moves his eyelids with great effort, she reaches out her other hand and caresses his cheek - Mulder? - he manages to open his eyes and she is the first thing he sees, she smiles at him with sad eyes and he squeezes her hand and smiles - How do you feel? - she asks him anguished, he makes a great effort to talk

\- I feel as if a truck had passed over me - she laughs closing her eyes, he reaches out his other arm to touch her chin, she then looks into his eyes and feels tears threaten to roll down her cheeks - I'm sorry Scully, I crashed your car - she sighs smiling caressing his hair - It doesn't matter Mulder, you are alive, that's all that matter now - he takes her hand to his lips and kiss it.

They remain silent for a few minutes, she is looking at the floor and still holds Mulder's hand, suddenly she starts to sob and Mulder turns to look at her worried - Scully, what's wrong? - she shakes her head and remains silent while tears fall down her cheeks - Scully, talk to me - she looks up at him and swallows trying to speak

\- I'm so sorry Mulder, I shouldn't had leave, I didn't want to, but I think I needed it to realize how much I would miss you - he caresses her cheek and smiles bitterly - if I hadn't left, none of this would have happened - she says with a choked voice looking at the floor again

He looks at her with tenderness - that's not true, and you know it, whether you are there or not by my side, it has nothing to do with me being stubborn when it comes to seeking for the truth, this would have happened anyway, and we both said hurtful things and made bad decisions, so don't blame yourself, that's what I do and it hasn't got me anywhere - she smiles a little hearing his words - So, am I right? - he says touching her chin, she looks up and nods cleaning her tears - You are… Just… just don't do this to me again, please!... - He nods squeezing her hand

\- So that means you're coming home again, right? - she blushes a little looking through the window - Only if you want me to - he laughs, she has to be drunk or something, how can she even say that? - Are you kidding me Scully? I'm not crazy to let you go - he says with love and a smile, she laughs and stands leaning down a little to kiss him, he holds her by her neck kissing her slowly - Oh Scully, I love you - he says on her lips with a sexy voice, she smiles and pulls back - I love you too Mulder, now rest - she says caressing his hair and kissing his forehead.

\- I'm not the one who needs rest Scully, you look exhausted, how long have you been awake? - he says holding her hand, she closes her eyes and sighs - I can't remember, but I won't leave you alone - she says sitting again next to his bed, he looks around and through the window towards the corridor

\- There's no one around Scully, come here, sleep with me - he says palming the bed, she denies with her head smiling - I can't do that Mulder, they would kick me out and I don't want that - she says stretching her neck and back, he presses the communication button that is right next to the bed and a nurse enters - Is there anything I can do for you? - she asks with a kind smile, Scully looks at Mulder frowning

\- The truth is that I want you to make an exception and let my wife lie next to me in this bed - the nurse looks at him smiling and looks at Scully who is totally red with embarrassment - The truth is that I can not authorize that - she says kindly

\- Please - he says pouting - I feel very lonely and we both need to rest, If you could make an exception and not tell anyone - Scully looks at the floor embarrassed and the nurse realizes that it's a patient's whim - Okay, but I'll come to wake you up before the doctor in the first round - Mulder smiles gratefully and the nurse retires, Scully hits his arm hard for making her look ridiculous

\- Ouch! Come on honey, you can sleep now next to me - she stands and then lies next to him, Mulder stays on his back and she lies on her side crossing one of her legs over his and putting her arm on his chest, she sighs and looks at him tenderly - thank you Mulder, for love me back - he smiles and kisses her forehead for long seconds, then both close their eyes and fatigue overcomes them in a hurry.

Three hours later

The nurse come into the room and look at them, both are sleeping peacefully holding each other, she smiles and feels guilty for having to wake them up, as he was the one who asked for the favor, she touches his arm carefully to wake him up, he frowns and opens his eyes slowly, the nurse smiles at him - The doctor will come shortly, I'm sure you'll be able to go home after that - He thanks her and she retires

Scully is still sound asleep and he takes the opportunity to look at her for a moment, she is so beautiful, her light pink lips are slightly open and a tuft of hair covers one of her eyes, he puts it behind her ear and then touches her mouth with his thumb, she seems not to feel it, then he caresses one of her eyebrows slowly, she begins to move slowly and opens her eyes focusing on him - Hello sleeping beauty, were you able to rest? - He says stroking her cheek, she nods and caresses his chest

\- What about you? how you feel? - he smiles and kisses her - Very good thanks to you - he says with love, she smiles sighing and kisses him again

\- Okay, the doctor should be here by now, we better prepare because I want to go home - he says in a hurry, she gets off the bed and stretches herself standing next to Mulder, he grabs her by the waist and pulls her towards him to kiss her again, at that moment voices are heard outside and she turns away from him sitting in the chair quickly.

The door opens and Dr. Thompson walks in smiling - Hello again, how is my patient doing? - he asks animated, they both greet him and he proceeds to check Mulder - Everything seems to be very good, I'm going to sign the papers so you can leave within the next couple of hours, all the tests came great, you were very lucky she found you in time, guess that's a relief -

After another three hours they can go home, Mulder stands up and stretches his back, with the help of Scully puts on again the clothes he came in, the shirt a bit bloody - When we get home we get rid of those clothes, I'll burn them if necessary - she says looking at the stain frowning, he caresses her cheek smiling - you can wash and that's it - she interrupts him suddenly - no, I do not want to see those clothes again - he raises his hands in surrender - is well, we can put it to give as a gift, maybe someone needs it - she breathes hard to calm down and looks at him with a half smile - you're right, I'm sorry - he hugs her and kisses her on the forehead - let's go home Scully - she nods her head on her chest and pulls back to retrieve the suitcase, then they leave the room to the parking lot holding hands

Unremarkable House

Two hours later

\- Scully, come back to be - he says holding her hand, she sits in the edge of the bed and look at him smiling - Mulder don't be a child, it's just a minute, the tea is ready - she says tenderly, he kiss her hand and she close her eyes exhausted - We need to get rest - he says in a scratchy voice

She nods - I know, but I need that tea, now let me go or I will never get back - He let go of her hand and she goes down to the first floor for two cups of tea, she is so tired that she almost throws them on, while she goes back into the room she yawns and walks the steps that are missing until she reaches the bed with her eyes closed - I think I spill tea down the stairs, but I'll clean it later, I can't stand on my feet any longer - she says as she hands Mulder a cup, he gently strokes her hair - finish that tea quickly and come here, let's spoon together and sleep the rest of the day -

She laughs turning to look at him - all day? As if that were possible, I can not sleep more than six hours straight - he nods finishing the tea and putting it on the night table next to the bed - maybe today we can, come here - he take her by the waist and drags her towards the center of the bed, she puts the cup on the table quickly and let him embrace her, they get under the covers and close their eyes - I love you Scully - she smiles hearing him and caresses his arm - I love you too Mulder - and they fall asleep hugged


	11. Chapter 11

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 11

Our time together

Puerto Vallarta

7:20 am

Wake up another day in paradise is a joy for both of them, Mulder wanted to celebrate her beyond measure love keeping his promise, escape as far away from the darkness as they possibly can and what better place that a summer paradise full of blue ocean, palm trees and tropical swimsuits, she is naked in his arms, only a thin sheet covering their lower half, her breasts are on his chest and her face is covered more than half with her long hair, her head rests almost next to his under his neck, he kisses her hair and uncover her face to see her - Good morning sunshine - he says in a sexy scratchy voice smiling, she smiles with her eyes and kisses his chest, then she leans on one elbow and pulls her hair back away from her face - How are you Mulder? - she asks smiling, he leans forward and gives her a passionate kiss that leaves her breathless - Well I guess you are great this morning - she says smirking a little and lying on the pillow next to him. He gets up and walks to the bathroom, she sees his naked but firm bottom from the bed - why don't we make a quickie before getting up? - he turns around with a surprised face and throws himself back to the bed, kissing her avidly.

One hour later they leave the hotel room holding hands, heading to the beach, he promised her a boat ride by sea, she will not paddle of course, just tan and enjoy the landscape, Mulder rents a rowing boat and they embark offshore, the view of the island is wonderful, the tropical landscape makes them both happy, and Mulder just loves to see Scully in a sexy two-piece swimsuit, she's so beautiful and sensual, he wish he could see her like that every day of his life - You know you look ravishingly sexy, right? - she blushes a little and laughs - Shut up Mulder - he laughs too, why she always rejects any kind of compliment, they have been together for a long time now - Come on honey, you know you are, just let me adore you - he says stopping rowing and letting the movement of the ocean wave the boat - I just wanna be with you like this forever, just us - he smiles at him tilting her head - only hopefully Mulder, that's not possible, but life can not be just fun and peace, it would not be life after all - she says looking deep into his eyes - This philosophical Scully, I like her even more, and in a bathing suit is irresistible - She laughs again and takes a bottle of wine out of the cooler - let's make a toast then for us, today doesn't matter if it's nine o'clock in the morning - he looks at her complacently and receives a glass of wine from her hands, she tries to drink but he stops her

\- I wanna make an appropriate toast Scully, one for you - she tries to interrupt him but he doesn't let her - I want to toast for the most beautiful, perfect, compassionate, protective, loving, dedicated, hardworking, intelligent, smart, wise and wonderful woman I know, and with whom I have the pleasure to share my life, for you Scully, because we can always be together and I hope you continue trusting and believing in my crazy theories - she looks at him smiling trying not to cry although a tear falls down her cheek and she whip it immediately - Oh Mulder, I will always be around no matter what - they toast with their glasses and drink, he leans forward and so does she for share a sweet kiss, the boat moves a little and she get scare making him laugh 'This is not turbulence honey' she raises an eyebrow piercing her lips, he stops laughing and tries to row again but she stop him putting her hand upon his arm 'No, no,let's swim here Mulder' he looks at her surprised but smirks agreeing, she takes off her …. and jumps to the water, he looks at her for a while, she is his mermaid, her long hair shines with the sun, her white skin shines under the water and her smiles shines with happiness, he smiles gazing her, she is just gorgeous, she turns around and look at him 'Mulder? What are you waiting for? Come on!' He jumps into the water to splashing her, she laughs in the sweetest way possible and he just can't help himself and kiss her with such pain that leave her breathless and shocked 'Mulder!' she says trying to recover her breath, he smiles and she throw her arms behind his neck and kiss him again 'I love you Mulder' her eyes tell the truth and he can't feel happier.

Later that night

'Wow Scully! You're gonna kill me… You look so perfect' she smiles brightly while walking towards him, when she is next to him, he holds her hand and make her turn, her backless white dress flies revealing her firm thighs taking his breath away 'My goddess' he says in a whisper, she laughs and tiptoe tip kiss him lightly, then guide him outside the room holding his hand.

the restaurant is open-air on the beach, they have a bonfire and a large bar, plus a dance floor for about 40 couples, the place is just perfect, holding hands they both enter and are taken by a waiter to one of the tables closer to the sea, the wind makes Scully's dress dance and frame her legs attracting some looks, unnoticed by her but not for Mulder - I am the luckiest man tonight, all eyes are on you Scully - she turns to look at him a little flushed and then smiles with embarrassment - Hey, don't worry, I'm not jealous - she laughs and kisses him - yeah right - She says raising an eyebrow, both sit and feel the heat of the campfire - this place is wonderful Mulder, it's paradise - she says watching the waves of the sea, he doesn't answer anything, he just stares at her enraptured, the light of the fire makes her red hair shine even more, she is like a dream, she turns again to see him and smile - Thank you for bring me here Mulder, I'm very happy - he smiles too and holds her hand over the table taking it to his lips and kissing it with tenderness - I love you Scully - she holds her breath, those three words are not easy to say for either of them, and the mere fact that he is the one saying them causes a knot in her throat, she looks at him with all the love she is capable of and smiles.

They both have dinner with a bottle of red wine, dance by the campfire with many other couples, talk about some old cases in the FBI and their first meeting, that first case that would unite them forever, that first motel that allowed Mulder to open up with someone and that allowed her to trust someone, after midnight they both take off their shoes and walk hand in hand by the seashore, after a while Mulder takes Scully from both hands throwing their shoes to the sand and looks at it with tenderness - What would have been of our lives if the FBI had not joined us? I know that maybe the first impression was not good, but still you didn't run away, I think you found me amusing actually, and you never fulfilled the promise to discredit my work, I thank you very much for trusting me and having understood my decisions in life since the beginning, I think without you my life would be a disaster, I would still be only the idiot of Spooky Mulder with whom no one wants to make a friendship - She laughs at his last words and stands on her toes to kiss him.

\- That sounded like marriage vows Mulder and I thought you didn't believe in marriage - he laughs too and grabs her by the waist - Well, there are many things that I don't believe but that would be perfect with you - she looks at him seriously and crosses her arms over his neck - Thank you Mulder, I love you -he smiles and kisses her in a fit taking her breath away, in an impulse he carries her in his arms and walk with her out to sea, the water is cold but both laugh like children in love, he stops when the water reaches his chest and puts her down, she stays stuck to him, with her arms around his neck and they continue kissing under the moonlight, her pale skin shines like the moon and he just thinks of worshiping her for eternity - Let's have another child Scully, we're free, we can do it - she looks surprised at him with a frown and feels tears begin to form in her eyes - I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you cry, it's just that, I spoke without thinking - she shakes her head and kisses him again - We can try that - he smiles and kisses her again.

The days fly away and soon it's time to return home, while packing their suitcases they both share flirtatious looks - Stop it Scully, how am I supposed to pack my bags if you look at me like that? - She laughs and continues packing without looking at him again, he bites his lower lip and walks towards her, he stands behind her and crosses his arms over her belly, she leans her head on his shoulder and smiles putting her hands over his - How can you stay so calm after confessing how I feel when you look at me like that? - She laughs and tilts her head out to look at him, he bends over and kisses her gently on the lips - No Mulder, we must deliver the room, come on, finish packing your things, we have a flight to take - he kiss her again and goes back to finish packing.

He takes both suitcases and she only takes her bag, they deliver the keys at the reception and take a taxi to the airport, inside she lies on his chest and takes him by the hand - Scully, do you think we should get married? - she squeezes her hand and smiles - We've been together for more than fifteen years Mulder, I don't think marriage makes any difference - he kisses her hair and caresses her arm - But, would you like to do it? - he insists

\- I do not know Mulder, at some point in my life I wanted to get married and have a big family, but fate had other things for me, and I don't think about it anymore - he remains silent thinking about all the things that would have been different if she had not become his partner in the FBI, she feels his discomfort and separates from him to face him and puts her hand on his cheek - And as I said before, I wouldn't change a day lived by your side Mulder, so don't think about it or blame yourself, okay? - he closes his eyes and nods, she returns to lie on his chest and closes her eyes.

On the plane she allows him to take her by the hand, the turbulence continues to frighten her no matter how many planes she has taken. For him that's still funny, the only thing that makes him feel better is that now he can be by her side and calm her, most of the trip is quiet and she manages to fall asleep, he on the other hand can not relax, he puts a movie but it doesn't distract him, he watches her sleep for a while, the flight attendant comes to offer them food, he asks for two bottles of water to give one to her when she wakes up. But he can't stop thinking about their future, why he talked about marriage and children?, the world will come to an end in 2012, there is not much future ahead, he gets nervous, how can he still believe it?, old smoky was the one who said it. He tries to distract himself by watching the movie again but a turbulence awakens Scully and she clings to his arm with force, he hugs her and kisses her forehead - Everything is fine Scully, go back to sleep - he says in a whisper, she closes her eyes and remains hugged to him, Mulder thinks again about the future and knows he must do something to find the truth.


	12. Chapter 12

**I Want to Believe in Us**

Chapter 12

Dusting off the past

The Unremarkable House

2:45 am

The cell phone vibrates on the night table, he gets up carefully, takes the cell phone and walks to the first floor trying not to wake up Scully, more than a month ago he has been gathering information on the internet about the Mayan calendar, prophecies and other theories about the advent, two weeks ago he found an email with anonymous sender with information about a group that apparently has found the truth, a week ago he came into communication with that group of people who have been looking to understand the events that will happen in 2012 and they told him to wait for a message to give him a meeting date with one of their informants, the strange thing is that he never gave them his phone number.

He turns on the light in the kitchen and looks at the message "Friday 6:35 pm Arlington National Cemetery"

It's Wednesday, two days for the meeting, the best thing is Scully's shift in the hospital she won't return home until 10 at night, so he can meet them without feels barefoot steps on the stairs and quickly takes a glass from the cupboard and fills it with water hiding his cell phone in the pocket of his sleeping pants, then turns to look at Scully walking towards him rubbing her eyes - Hey sleepy girl, why did you get up? -

She walks up to him and lies on his chest - I woke up and you were not there so I decided to go out looking for you - he gives her a kiss on the head and hugs her with one arm - Very well, you found me, so let's go back to the bed - she doesn't move, he bends his head to one side and sees that her eyes are closed, he smiles and puts the glass in the sink and lifts her from the floor carrying her to the bed, she seems not to notice, she is deeply asleep.

He puts her carefully on the bed and covers her with the blanket, she opens her eyes and takes his hand, he sits beside her and strokes her hair - Are you worry about something Mulder? - she says squinting her eyes with sleep

He tries to smile hiding the truth - No honey, go back to sleep, I'm going to the bathroom and then come back, ok? - she nods and close her eyes, he kiss her forehead and goes to the bathroom, he looks the text message again, how the hell they knew his number? Can he trust them? Should he go?

He tries to stop thinking, put his cellphone back in his pocket and goes to bed, when she feels him lie down, she turns toward him and takes him by the waist pushing herself closer to him and leaning on his chest, he pulls her closer to him putting his hand on her back and kissing her hair filling his lungs with her essence, then closes his eyes and falls asleep.

Five hours later he wakes up again and she is gone, he opens his eyes slowly to look around, a ray of sunlight sneaks through the curtains of the window, he yawns and stretches arms and legs pulling the sheet to the side, at that moment Scully enters the room and sees him wallowing in the bed, which gives her a big smile, but since he is not looking at her, she decides to call his attention - Mulder! don't spare the whole bed - she says raising her voice, he stays still and looks at her scared, then he sits down and tries to unroll the sheets with his hands, she lets out a laugh seeing his reaction and jumps to the bed sitting next to him.

He looks at her between flirtatious and playful taking her by the waist and turning her so his head is resting on his knee, then leaning forward and joining his lips to hers with desire, she puts her hands behind his neck, and opens her mouth letting his tongue get inside and walk every corner, she moans joining the dance of his tongue with hers, both pull away to breathe looking at each other and smiling.

\- The breakfast is ready Mulder, I'm gonna take a shower now, I gotta go - she pulls away and stand up going to the bathroom, he runs behind her and join her in the shower, they have some fun in there until she stop him - I have to go Mulder, sorry, but please suit yourself - she says winking and trying to leave the shower, he smirks and kiss her one last time, then she takes the towel and walks away.

Scully gets dress as fast as she can, while she combs her hair next to the mirror, she feels Mulder's cell phone vibrate on the bedside table, that catches her attention, Mulder never receives messages or calls, everything is done on the computer, maybe it's a email, she goes to check the message on the screen "Correction: Today 6:35 pm Arlington National Cemetery, we have new news" She frowns looking at the message without understand what it means, at that moment Mulder comes out of the bathroom and sees with horror that she has his cell phone in her hand.

She turns to look at him when she hears the bathroom door - Mulder what the hell does this mean? - She asks him raising her eyebrow, he swallows not knowing what to answer, she throws the phone hard on the bed and walks to the closet, takes some shoes and puts them on quickly, Mulder follows her with his eyes thinking of an answer - Scully, listen to me - She turns to look at him with rage, raising a finger to the height of her face - I don't want to hear any stupidity Mulder, you better not say anything - she holds her coat and walks downstairs as fast as she can, he follows her quickly - Scully, please, I need answers -

She turns around again - If I hear that one more time Mulder… I gotta go - she close the door harder that she planned feeling tears threatening to fall, she inhales and exhales through her mouth trying to calm herself as she walks to the car, Mulder opens the door and walks behind her, barefoot and only with a towel tied to his waist - Scully, please -

She keeps walking without turn around - Shut up Mulder! - she says screaming, he stops in his tracks and sees her open the car door and get inside, she looks at him with watery eyes and he feels a blow to the chest, she backs up to the road and then drives away as fast as possible, looking at him in the rear-view mirror until his figure disappears behind some trees.

And then she cries, tears cloud her vision and she cleans them quickly slowing down the speed,

how is it possible that Mulder keeps looking for the truth? How the hell she didn't notice before? He will never change, always following conspiracies and strange groups of believers, he sure still believes that the world will end in 2012 - Damn it - she whispers. What about their conversation about having another child? More tears fall down her cheeks, but this time she lets them fall freely.

Mulder stays a few minutes standing by the stairs, he doesn't mind being in a towel or the cold that hits him, he feels like a complete idiot, she will not forgive him this time, she knows him well, knows how he can obsess over something, much more if it has to do with the truth that he has sought all his life, the cold air hits him hard and he recoils towards the house, feeling that his body weighs tons, preventing him from going up normally, he has to leave the past in the past, he has to do it for Scully, damn it, he hopes she comes back.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The beginning of the end

The Unremarkable House

11:50 pm

Mulder is sitting in the gloom of the living room, the same darkness he feels inside, Scully did not answer any of his calls and he lost count in the number of messages that he leave in the voice mail. She has the right to be angry, of course, but she must give him the opportunity to explain. He will wait until she arrive, it does not matter if it's an hour, a day, a week, she should let him explain. He has been good all this years, he has been there, he lost everything he had but he stay there with her, for her, how can she be just furious about a simple text message, he must convince her to follow the truth with him again.

Scully parks the car outside, the house is in complete darkness, maybe Mulder went to meet his informants, she sighs feeling exhaustion, just thinking about Mulder following that path again, make her feel sick, she turns off the engine and picks up her bag. Feeling the cold of the night, her skin bristles, the coat seems to have no effect, or maybe it's the thought of Mulder's lie, start again with the conspiracies and the paranoia, it's like a cruel joke of faith. She walks towards the house feeling like the world is coming at her, and will soon hit her full force.

Scully walks inside towards the living room, she can't see anything, the house is completely dark, she puts her bag on the table next to the sofa and turns on the lamp, and she see him, that makes her jump with terror, Mulder is sitting on the sofa staring at her - Mulder, what the hell? - she says breathing in agitation, he doesn't say anything but he continues to look at her with a serious expression, that makes her nervous - Mulder, what are you doing there? - she asks him, trying to keep herself calm, he doesn't blink, he just stares at her.

She frowns and looks at him, but after a few seconds she can't hold his gaze anymore and looks towards the kitchen, he stands up and she instinctively takes a step backwards, he frowns at her reaction - Scully, please - he reaches out to her and she stays still without knowing what to do.

\- I can't do this Mulder - she says and her voice is almost a whisper, she is shaking, he looks at her with sadness, she swallows and her eyes are filled with tears - Why Mulder? Why? - she sobs and tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

Her reaction make him feel a punch in the chest, of all the people in the world, she is the only one who has understood it, and now, she looks at him as if he were a complete stranger, she even seems afraid of him - You know me Scully, this is who I am, you know my fears, you know my quest, you know me, why is this so difficult to understand - she gives another step back and he looks down defeated.

She keeps crying, she can feel his pain, of course she knows him, she knows his quest, she has been following his path all this year, wasn't that what she has been doing all this years? But she is tired, she can't start all over again, is exhausting - I know you Mulder, that's why I'm afraid, I can't do this again, there's nothing out there waiting for us, that's not our life anymore… Please don't do this - her voice breaks stopping her from continuing.

He looks at her again, she looks exhausted, she looks so tiny and vulnerable, she is in pain because of him, Why can't he be a normal person and simply stop looking for a truth that has been changed so many times? Why can't he just enjoy being next to the woman he loves without thinking about conspiracies or the past? He doesn't know, he just can't, is in his nature, is part of life, his own history. He sighs heavily and walks towards his office closing the door behind him.

Scully remains silent in the living room, in the middle of an almost complete darkness, more tears fall down her cheeks, she feels tired, hurt, helpless. She walks to the second floor feeling that her body weighs, that life itself weighs. She throws herself to the bed with her clothes on, curls up in a fetal position and cries until fatigue overcomes her and manages to fall asleep.

The next morning Scully wakes up in pain, her back and waist hurt from having slept all night in the same position, she gets up and takes a hot shower that lessens the pain, she doesn't plan to stay at home, she just wants to be away from Mulder, she needs time to think, she needs to find a way to help him. The only way to stay away is to work, she dresses in a hurry and goes down the stairs, the study door is still closed, she sighs but is glad not to have to see him before leaving, she takes the bag that is still on the table and leaves the house.

Mulder listens to the door that closes and goes to the living room, he watches her leave through the window, he moves the curtain to observe her better, when getting into the car she sees him, he does not move away from the window, on the contrary, he looks straight into her eyes, she swallows hard seeing his expression, he looks like a ghost, his look is penetrating, almost defiant, she shudders and drives away from the house feeling a lump in her throat.

He closes the window and hits the glass with a fist, breaking it and cutting off his hand, then throws the lamp and a vase to the ground with force, he feels uncontrollable anger, drops of blood fall down onto the floor, roll down his right hand, he grabs the hair with force feeling a great desperation. She is fleeing again, as she always does when she feels pain or sadness, he feels immensely guilty, he starts screaming profanities, words that are directed at himself. He sees that more blood falls to the ground and he wraps his hand in a kitchen rag, then opens a drawer and takes out a bottle of whiskey, and begins to drink directly from the bottle.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: In the darkness

Three weeks later

Saturday, 11:47 am

Scully hasn't seen him in three weeks, three long weeks in which she tried to talk to him, but the studio door has remained locked, she knows he is alive because she hears him walking inside or because the food has decreased in the refrigerator, but she hasn't heard his voice, nor seen his face. She saw a broken glass and a windowpane in the trash, but she believed that it was one of the children from the surroundings with a baseball, or the same Mulder throwing the basketball to the basket in the living room, she didn't imagine that it was him in a fit of anger.

She is sitting in the dining table this morning when she hears a loud bang in the studio and a pile of things that fall to the floor in a frightening rumble. She runs towards the door calling his name, but there's no answer - Mulder please, open the door… at least tell me you're ok - she begs him.

\- You don't care if I'm ok - is his answer, she sighs relieved, at least she knows that he is fine, although his voice is muffled and husky, maybe he hasn't slept enough, or eaten enough or all of the above - Fuck - he says raising his voice.

She decides it's time to look for a copy of the keys to the study that should be somewhere in the kitchen. While she searches the gabbies she listens to him cough, a dry and rough cough, that worries her, he seems to be sick, she hurries and manages to find them behind some jars of spices, inside a glass that has other keys, screws and other small things.

She goes back to the door and opens trying not to make noise, looking inside she feels a sharp pain in the chest, the picture is devastating. Books, newspapers and bottles of liquor thrown everywhere, Mulder is lying on the couch with his eyes closed, tears running down his cheeks, in his hand he has a bottle of vodka and she notices that his knuckles are red and swollen, he has a beard again and it seems he hasn't bathed all week, a sob escapes her lips and he opens his eyes in surprise looking at her with a mixture of terror, hatred and sadness.

\- Get out of here Scully - he yells at her with a hesitant voice - Get out! - he says again

He is drunk, tries to stand up but his legs do not respond, she cries feeling guilty, he is unrecognizable, his face emaciated, dark circles mark his beautiful hazel eyes that now seem as dark as the night, his hair is rolled, he is barefoot and shirtless, he seems another person.

\- Mulder - she says in a whisper, her voice trembling - Mulder, please let me help you - she says before walking towards him - You're not okay, let me check you - she says next to him

he looks at her with those eyes full of sadness and denies - No Scully, leave me here, I want to be alone -

She knows that he would never hurt her, so she kneels in front of him and takes the bottle from his hands to check it, the knuckles look a little bit infected, he has some small cuts and she realizes that the glasses in the garbage were his work - Mulder, I have to heal your hand and you should take a bath, come with me, please -

He doesn't answer anything but let her help him stand up and walks with her to the second floor, she sit him on top of the toilet lid while filling the bathtub with warm water, then opens the bathroom drawer and takes out cotton and disinfectant to cure his hand, he looks at each of her movements, she is dressed in a black jean and a white v-neck shirt, white sneakers and hair loose kissing her back and shoulders.

She helps him undress and puts him in the bathtub with care, he has his eyes on her, but she doesn't look at him so she doesn't cry again, she takes her hand and first wash it with soap and water making him complain about the pain, if the circumstances were different, he would go back to his joke about her "manos de piedra" but none of them is in the mood for that. She soaps him and helps him rinse with the help of a jar, she then help him out, disinfects and covers the wounds and takes him to the room so he can get dress.

While he dresses she drops the laundry and turns on the washing machine, then she takes a bowl of soup and takes it up for him to eat it. Both remain silent while he eats, she looks at him occasionally to make sure he is okay, and every time she does, discovers that he is staring at her - Mulder - she whispers - Why are you doing this? - she says frowning trying to look away from his eyes.

He finishes eating, puts the plate on the night table and stares at her - What am I doing what, Scully? - he asks with a voice full of pain - You did this, you leave me alone, you didn't listen to me -

\- Don't blame for this Mulder - she says raising her voice and taking a sit in front of him, in a loveseat - you kept information that also belongs to me, because this is our life Mulder, not just yours. Do you want to go back to the life that you had before, Mulder? you want to get away from you, very well, do it, but don't tell me it's my fault because it's not fair - she says shakily

\- He looks at her, denying - I did it because I knew you would not agree -

\- You're damn right - she says interrumpint him. He gets up and walks from one side of the room to the other, she looks at him, breathing through her mouth, trying to calm down

Neither of them likes the situation, both love each other with madness, as they never loved anyone else, but their differences have grown since they are together, she is no longer willing to follow the game of conspiracies that for him is still so important, she has a good life, a job she enjoys, she is exercising her true career, and the memories of the past in the FBI are not something she wants to keep in mind again

\- Scully, don't do this to me, I've been by your side all this time, hidden, without doing what I really enjoy, for you, for being by your side, and you are not able to support me once? - he says raising his voice, he is desperate again, his head hurts, he feels tired, weak, disappointed - Do this for me -

She runs a hand over her forehead and looks at the ground - I knew she would bring this up at some point, and I told you, I told you if you were sure, I asked you if the time would come when you would recriminate me, you said never, and here we are Mulder - her voice is a whisper - I can't go back there, I really can't, I don't care if the world is coming to an end, that's not my business… I… I'm sorry Mulder, I can't - she says covering her eyes with her hands, her chin trembling, tears wetting her shirt

He stands in the middle of the room looking at her, feeling his own tears falling down his cheeks, she's right, he remembers the conversation, that was years ago, but he said he would never blame her, he said it, he leaves the room and walks out of the house, she looks at him through the window with tears watering her vision.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: The promise

Two weeks later

Scully goes down to make breakfast, Mulder is locked in his study as usual, she prepares breakfast for him too, when he's ready he knocks on the door and returns to sit at the table, a few minutes later Mulder comes out and goes to sit next to her - Good morning Scully - he says without looking at her, she looks at him while eating without saying anything.

In recent weeks the only thing he has done is cry and drink - Mulder ... talk to me, tell me how I can help you, this situation has become unbearable - she says quietly leaving the cutlery on the plate. She has lost her appetite, since Mulder is sick neither of them has eaten well.

He bites into another piece of toast while he looks at her with sad eyes - What are you talking about Scully? We have nothing to tell us - he says standing up and walking back to his studio

She takes his hand to stop him from leaving - Mulder, please - she says in a plea, he doesn't turn to see her - Mulder, you're sick - she says in a whisper

He pulls his hand away and turns to look at her with eyes injected with hate - I'm not sick Scully, that's your excuse to get rid of me - he ends up screaming

\- Mulder, what the hell are you talking about? The only thing I've done is take care of you, try to get you out of the darkness of your study, you're depressed, because you wanted to go back to the damn past we've tried to leave behind together - she says beginning to despair with tears in her eyes

He holds his head with both hands and frowns trying not to cry - That damn past will always be part of us - he says desperately, then lowers his voice to continue - and I just can't let it go - he lets himself fall heavily on the sofa - I can't Scully - he says covering his face with his hands and crying hard

She walks towards him and sits next to him putting her elbows on her knees - Mulder, you need help, you know I wouldn't lie to you, you should start a treatment or the depression will consume you... please listen to me - she says whispering looking the hands on his face

He removes his hands from his face and looks at her sadly, she frowns looking into his eyes - please Mulder - he approaches her and kisses her with desire, taking her by the waist, she tries to pull away but the contact of his lips on hers after so long, don't let her do it and she corresponds to his kiss avidly

He is leaning on her slowly on the sofa and they both start moaning in each other's mouth, without thinking twice both begin to remove pieces of clothing from the body of the other with burning desire, making love on the couch is something that both have enjoyed for many years when they started doing it in Mulder's apartment.

They make love like they didn't do it for a long time, it was a necessity, to feel each other to reaffirm their love, to feel the warmth of their bodies, the small laughs, the voices of command, the cries of desire, they were created the one for the other, to be together, and every time their bodies come together they confirm it.

They remain naked until their breaths return to normal, she on top of him with her hands around him, and he stroking her hair and kissing her forehead - I love you Scully, I need your help - she raises her head to look at him with sweetness and sadness, she knows that those words cost him and they weigh him too much, and she appreciates his bravery

\- I will Mulder, but you must promise me that you will stop drinking and you will begin to see a specialist - he nods and leans forward to kiss her lips softly

\- While you are with me, I will do what you ask me - she sighs and returns to lay her head on his chest, he caresses her back lowering his hand to her butt - I missed this beautiful body on top of mine - he says with a naughty smile palming her ass, she laughs and bites his chest making him release a pleasant moan - that's an invitation for a second round? - He says in a hoarse and sexy voice

She smiles and raises her head again beginning to kiss him with desire - I won't let you go this time - she says holding his neck and deepening the kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Seeing you falling

Mulder returns from the psychiatry sessions even more sad and depressed, having a recount of his obsessions and fears is not helping, he has distanced himself from Scully, has realized all the damage he has done and the damage that she does to him

" _Your obsessions with the past make Dana not feel safe by your side, she needs to move on without thinking about the things that weigh on both of them_ " were the words of the therapist

" _And what about our son? She sometimes talks about him, maybe her pain is different from mine?_ " was his response

Damn it, why nothing then be simple among them? Why life decided to punish them so much?

Scully arrives home after 7 pm to discover that Mulder is again locked in his study, but this time she knocks on the door - Mulder, is everything okay? - he hums inside but he doesn't open the door, he doesn't even stands from his desk, she sighs frustrated and walks upstairs straight to bed, she takes off her clothes and gets under the covers in her underwear.

After about fifteen minutes, she hears Mulder climb the stairs and she closes her eyes so she doesn't have to talk to him. He sees her lying on the bed with her back to the door, the curtains in the room are open and the moonlight illuminates Scully's silhouette, he turns around the bed to stand in front of her - I know you're awake Scully, can we talk? -

She opens her eyes slowly looking at him - I tried to talk Mulder, but you didn't open the door - she says with a serious expression - What's going on now Mulder? - she sighs and sits in the edge of the bed next to her and holds her hand

She sighs feeling his discomfort, suddenly he starts to cry, she frowns sitting in the bed next to him resting her head in the back of his shoulder - I can't go on with this Scully, I'm feeling worst and… He says we are hurting each other - Scully closes her eyes and sighs, she knows everything about the sessions, and indeed, they hurt each other sometimes, he just has to face the truth - What do you think Scully? - he asks kissing her hand

She pulls away from his shoulder and look into his eyes - I think is true Mulder, I've hurt you talking about William and I'm sorry, but it's our son Mulder, it's not an x file - she sighs - but still I know I hurt you a lot, I know that, and I'm really sorry - tears keep running down his cheeks making her cry too

\- I can't lose you Scully, you're all I have, but I don't know what to do, all this is bigger than me, I don't know what's wrong with me - he hides his face under her neck and clings to her waist, she caresses his neck and kisses his head tenderly

\- Don't put me aside Mulder, I want to help you, I'm still here, you just have to do your part, can you do that? - she whispers close to his ear, he closes his eyes and nods - Do you wanna eat something? - she asks holding his waist

\- Yes please, I'm starving - he says making her laugh, she holds his hand and drag him out of the room, guiding him to the first floor

She puts on her apron and prepares some sandwiches, he looks at her smiling, under that apron she only has her underwear so he takes the opportunity to look at her firm butt covered by a black lace thong, he remains sitted and wait looking at every centimeter of her body, somehow he doesn't feel in the mood to go there and give her a passionate kiss and make love to her in the table, he must be really depressed, that makes him frown with anger, what the hell is wrong with him? He desires Scully with all his being, he looks away clenching his jaw with force.

Scully turns to look at him and realizes how bad he looks, she thought that he would not let her make the food but would take her running to the sofa or to the room, he must be really down to do nothing right now, she know he was looking her ass. Mulder is not like that, maybe what she is thinking is banal, but she knows Mulder very well, and that worries her, she sighs and puts the plates on the table, he holds the sandwich and eat it in autopilot, as if his thoughts were a thousand kilometers from there.

She searches for his eyes but he doesn't look a her, she frowns staring at him and her eyes fill with tears, what the hell is happening to him? Is she guilty of his condition? suddenly she feels incredibly guilty, and feels a pressure in the chest, she swallows with difficulty and stands up, throws the apron on the table and runs up to the room, slamming the door behind her. He remains seated looking at the void, leaves the sandwich halfway on top of the plate, then takes both plates and throws them into the dishwasher, causing one of them to break, then goes to the studio and pulls out a bottle of whiskey that begins to drink from the bottle, he close his eyes trying to dispel his thoughts and after a while he succeeds.

An hour later he goes upstairs and sees Scully asleep, half of her body is under the sheets, he looks at her with desire and climbs onto the bed staggering, bhe lays behind her and begins to kiss her neck, she is startled to feel his lips on her and turns to look at him quickly - Mulder, what are you doing? - she says scowling, he ignores her and begins to caress her belly and kiss the fabric of her thin bra on her breast - Mulder, stop - she says pushing him away with her hands, he holds her stronger and continues kissing her up her neck - Mulder, you're drunk, please stop -

He throws his head back to look at her - I saw how you looked at me in the kitchen, this is what you wanted, that I came to do - she moves away from him pushing him and standing up, leaving him face up on the bed, he is too drunk to move.

She looks at him with tears in her eyes - This is not the Mulder way, not like that, what the hell is happening to you? - she says raising her voice in despair, he tries to talk but a wave of nausea hit him hard and he turns his head out of the bed and throws up on the floor - Fuck - she says running to his side to look at him, he's pale and crying, she puts on the nightgown and goes to the bathroom to bring something to clean.

While she handles the disaster, he looks at her with guilt and stretches out his hand to stroke her hair - I'm sorry Scully, please forgive me - he says crying, she looks at him with eyes of tenderness and sadness and turns her face to kiss the inside of his hand

\- Don't ask me to forgive you Mulder, I know what you're going through, it's just that it scares me to see you like this - she says trying to stop the tears that fill her eyes - I have to find a way to help you, I have to - she says the last words in a whisper, he closes his eyes feeling new nausea hitting him, she runs to the bathroom and brings a container so he vomits again.

After an hour of nausea and vomiting, he manages to fall asleep, she puts cold cloths on his forehead and stays seated next to him on the bed watching him rest, it is when she lets her tears roll freely down her cheeks, she is losing the man she loves because of a disease that threatened to trap him for many years, but that finally has him in his power, and there is nothing she can do to help him, the therapy seems not to be working and he doesn't take medicines as he should be, what if he can't get out of this hole? What will she do? She closes her eyes and leans on the back of the bed feeling herself as a complete useless.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Letting you run away

One month later

Mulder's erratic mood swings have made Scully go to live in the hospital, despite her attempts to get him to take his medicines according to the stipulated times, when she is not at home he forgets it completely. He doesn't even sleep next to her when she is at home, he no longer caresses her, nor kisses her, he is another person.

Scully has entered into depression seeing him like that, she doesn't want to see him anymore, she only thinks about the past and about William, and the few times they talk the only thing they do is scream and recriminate things or behaviors, the relationship hangs on a very fine thread that is close to break.

After three days of not going home, Scully decides to go for clean clothes, upon arrival she finds the house in complete darkness again, she turns on the light when entering and sees that Mulder is on the sofa covering his eyes with his hands by the light, he has a thick beard again and dark circles frame his eyes.

She swallows and tries not to look at him walking towards the stairs, he sits with difficulty and looks at her, she looks at him out of the corner of her eye and continues on her way - Where have you been? - he asks in a hoarse voice

She stops in front of him and sighs - In the hospital, I've had a lot to do - she says without looking at him and tries to continue on her way but he talks again

\- Don't lie Scully, if you want to leave once and for all, you can do it, but the fact that you are coming for clothes every two or three days affects me more - he says in a low voice

She feels tears filling her eyes and blinks several times to prevent them from falling down her cheeks - Is that what you want, Mulder? Do you want me to go and not come back? - she says in a trembling voice

He looks at her again frowning - Of course not, damn it, but you can't stand me anymore and I don't know what to do - he says raising his voice holding his head in his hands

She laughs sadly - You are not fulfilling your promise, you are not taking your medicines, you have missed three sessions with the therapist, you don't really care about this Mulder and I'm tired, I can't keep doing this, I can't keep seeing you drunk, having to take care of your illness and your nausea, see you sleep an hour and wake up again scared and distressed, it's too much - tears begin to fall down her cheeks - and you only think about yourself, every time you feel depressed you blame me, and you don't realize that the only thing I've tried all these months is to help you, all this started with your obsession, an obsession that has grown to the point that you really believe that the world is going to end, the world is going to end Mulder, of course it will, the day you die, meanwhile I am here, but it seems that I have become invisible - she sobs and walks upstairs incapable to keep talking

He remains seated there a couple of minutes and then walk upstairs looking for her, upon entering the room you see that she is packing a suitcase, and not one for two or three days, half of her closet is in that suitcase - what are you doing? - he asks scared

She continues packing and ignores him, he tightens her jaw and stops her turning her towards him - No, Scully, you can't leave, what am I going to do here alone, I would be lost without you, please don't go - she let go of him with force pushing him back closing the suitcase, he feels that reality hits him and suddenly he is short of breath - Scully, please, I'm sorry, please forgive me, give me another chance - he says crying, she feels a knot in the throat and close her eyes with force breathing through her mouth, she doesn't turn to look at him to not feel worse

\- Sorry Mulder, you had already promised that, I must go now - she says quietly without looking at him and leaving with the suitcase in her hand

Mulder takes her hand gently before she leaves - I love you Scully, when you come back, I will be here - she starts to cry and goes down the stairs in a hurry, her sobs broke his heart, he knows that he has hurt her enough in a few months, but watching her go, he feels how a thicker darkness invades him as he hears her steps walking away, he walks behind her and watch her stop next to door, she puts her suitcase on the floor and turns to look at him

\- I really wanted to help you Mulder, but I feel I'm losing myself, I love you and I wanna stay with you, but I think you need some time alone - she swallows and clean her tears with the sleeve of her shirt, he walks towards her slowly and hug her tightly, she sobs in his chest while he caresses her hair - Please forgive me Mulder, but I can't - he pulls her away a little and smiles sadly putting a strand of hair behind her ear, then leans forward and kiss her with tenderness, she corresponds to his kiss holding him by his waist and deepening the kiss.

When they broke apart she pecks his lips again caressing his cheek, takes her suitcase and walks outside closing the door behind her, he leans his head on the door closing his eyes while sobbing, he can't hate her, he doesn't even feel angry at all, he's just sad about himself, about his stupid decisions, he must follow his therapy and be good for her, he falls on his knees to the floor and cries, hoping that soon she wants to return to his side.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Can't be away from you

Three months later

Mulder has been distancing himself from the drink and has been taking his medicine, he has felt better and the therapy has finally moved forward, he has spoken with Scully a couple of times a week over the phone, she always call to make sure he is okay, she has been monitoring his therapy and she is also doing it to be able to manage better the absence of her son.

In spite of missing Scully, he realized that they were really hurting themselves and that they needed that distance to be able to get better. He isn't sure if she will come back, one month after she left, she returned to the house to take the rest of her clothes, although there are still some that she didn't use much anymore, he doesn't think that she will return for those. Apparently she has been living in a rented apartment, she was only in a hotel the first week, it seems that her life is calm and stable, so he doesn't see any reason for her to return, unless she really misses him.

He walks to a cafeteria that he knows Scully frequents, because it is close to the hospital and there they saw each other when she had time on her shift, while he walks he she sees Margaret walking towards him, maybe she was in the cafeteria with Scully he thinks, he tries to cross the street before she sees him, but before he can do it she sees him and smiles at him, he returns her smile and finishes walking the steps that separate him from her, being close she opens her arms and he corresponds to her warm embrace with tenderness

\- Mrs. Scully, what a pleasant surprise - he tells her honestly, she smiles tenderly, that warm smile of a mother who had not seen her son for some time

\- Fox, is so good to see you after so many years, how are you? - she asks, knowing the whole story of his depression and their recent separation

He looks down to the floor trying to smile - I'm fine, improving, missing your daughter - he says quietly

She puts a hand on his arm and looks at him with tenderness - I'm very sorry Fox, but she also misses you, I really hope things settle between you, she is only happy by your side - he looks up and looks at her with a spark of joy in his eyes, she smiles again caressing his arm - I was just with her, I see her thinner, there is no doubt that this separation has been one of the hardest things she has had to face, don't give up Fox, for both of you -

He nods realizing that Scully's mother is the only person who has trusted him from the beginning, the only one has always seen how happy he makes her daughter and how he has protected her, she has always been like a mother to him - Thank you - he says simply, she hugs him again and says goodbye to him with visible sadness in her eyes

He finishes the way to the cafeteria to discover that Scully is still there, sitting at a table, with a lost look and a sad expression, he stands by the door watching her, no doubt she is thinner, her hair is shorter now and dark circles frame her eyes, but she is still absolutely beautiful, she has always taken his breath away, he loves her, and he will never stop doing it, he smiles looking at her feeling his heart run faster. At that moment someone will leave the place and ask him to move away from the door, he looks at the man noticing that he is getting in the way and steps aside a little embarrassed, when he looks back at Scully he sees that she is looking at him, he swallows and walks to her table.

She gets nervous when she sees him, her heart accelerates as she watches him walk towards her with that smile that drives her crazy, he looks so good and she is a total mess, she looks at herself and fix her shirt a little trying to look presentable, she half smiles when he reaches her table - Hey Scully - he says with a big smile, she feels that all her breath was snatched at seeing that wonderful man in front of her.

\- Hello Mulder, how are you? - she says trying to control her runaway heart, he remains stand in front of her and hides his hands in the pockets of his pants

\- I'm fine Scully, happy to see you, how are you? - he says a little nervous

She tries to evade his gaze feeling the heat rise to her cheeks - I'm fine Mulder, thank you - he stares at her enraptured - but please sit down - she says pointing to the chair in front of her, he nods and takes a seat, right away a waitress comes to see if something is offered to the gentleman and he asks for a cappuccino, Scully takes the opportunity to look at him more closely, he definitely looks better, apparently he has been following his therapy, no longer has red eyes or dark circles under his eyes, he is not so thin and is smiling again, something she can't say about herself anymore.

Both look at each other for a few seconds feeling the weight of so many years together hitting them, feeling that the days haven't passed and they are still together against the world, she can't hold his gaze and looks out the window, he is looking at her and feels that all his life is in front of him, but he can't stop being worried, she looks unhappy and even nervous, Scully is not like that, she has never been like that, she looks at him again and he smiles sadly. at that moment the coffee arrives and he can't say what he wanted to say with the interruption, she takes the opportunity to ask for her bill

\- I saw your mother before I came here - he says - she is worried about you ... and I am too - he ends up placing his hand on hers, she looks nervous and takes her hand from under his, she stands up and goes to pay her bill, he stands up and gives the waitress extra money to pay for his coffee and follows her out - Scully wait, please, we need to talk - he says holding her arm

She turns to look at him with tears in her eyes and suddenly she looks extremely tired - Mulder, let me go, I have to go back to the hospital - she says almost pleading, he frowns feeling a pain in his chest to see her and hear her like that, so he pulls her towards him and surrounds her with his arms, she stays still, almost stiff in his embrace and after a few seconds she falls on his chest and crosses her hands behind his back leaving her tears run down her cheeks and wet his shirt - Oh God Mulder - she whispers in his chest feeling that her knees tremble, she looks up into his eyes and give him a sad smile - I have to go -

At that moment her knees give way and he manages to hold her in time before she falls to the ground, she is not completely unconscious but is very pale, he carries her in his arms and runs with her to the hospital that is right on the next street - Stay with me Scully, don't fall asleep - he says desperate

She swallows hard and tries to look at him but her eyes feel very heavy - Mulder - she says in a murmur making him look at her again - I'm sorry, please forgive me - she says before she loses consciousness

Three hours later

Scully opens her eyes slowly to a bright white room, she feels her throat dry and heat in her right hand, she turns to look and sees Mulder sitting next to her with her between his, he looks at her and smiles - Hey there sleepyhead, you really scared me, how are you feeling? -

She frowns confused looking into his green eyes - Mulder… what happened? - she asks with concerned voice - What? Why am I here? - she says again, her voice rough

He takes her hand to his lips and kiss it - The doctor said that you are dehydrated Scully, in addition you have anemia for not eating or sleeping well, you will have to stay here a few days - he says feeling a lump in the throat, she looks at him with shame and then looks away feeling tears coming to her eyes, he reaches out his hand and takes her chin turning her face towards him - Scully look at me, you don't have to be ashamed, you took care of me, now I'll take care of you, okay? - Tears begin to fall down her cheeks, he stands up and comes closer to her kissing her forehead - Don't cry honey, I'm here - he says in a gentle tone

She sobs and moves her face away from his kiss - No Mulder, I run away, I don't want you here, please don't, I don't deserve you - she says trying to control her tears

He puts a finger in her lips smiling with tenderness - Shhh, don't say that, you tried, very hard, I was there, I was the one who failed, and I realized that very late, I am the one who sorry, please let me take care of you - he says so close to her face that she can feel the warm of his breath near her lips - Please Scully - he says crying too

She puts a hand on his cheek and looks at him with all the love of the world in that pair of blue eyes - I love you Mulder, please forgive me, can you forgive me? - she says in a whisper

He smiles - I forgive you if you forgive me - they both laugh, gathering their foreheads, then they look at each other in the eyes until their lips meet and their kiss expresses the need they feel for each other.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Only you

Two weeks later

Scully enters the house to find Mulder in the kitchen preparing dinner, he apparently did not hear the door so she takes off her shoes and leaves the bag on the table in the living room, then walks carefully to the kitchen to cross her arms in his belly, he jumps a little scared but immediately smiles - Hello my favorite chef, what are you cooking? It smells delicious - she says stroking his chest slowly

He turns slowly to face her and she raises her head smiling, he bends down and kisses her lips biting her lower lip a bit - lasagna, are you ready? - She nods and gives him another kiss, then goes up to the second floor to change and go back to eat together

Two days ago she returned to work, after Mulder brought her home from the hospital and took care of her with all the patience and dedication of the world, she is not a good patient, because she is a doctor, but Mulder's love made her behave well this time. She really doesn't know how it is that Mulder accepted that she returned home with him, after having failed him and fled, that says a lot about his big heart and the love he has for her, and for that she feels very lucky.

Mulder's therapist recommended that they go together, so they have individual and couple sessions and it is really helping. Margaret is happy that they are together again, she has never known much about her daughter's life, but she knows that Mulder is the man of her life.

The three separate months were a martyrdom for both of them, but for Scully it was worse, she felt incredibly and deeply guilty, she couldn't sleep or eat thinking that maybe she would find him dead one day, or far away from her. The image of Mulder wounded in a hospital bed or dead again, tortured her every second of the day, she lost track of time and was in the hospital day and night, only sometimes another doctor told her to go home or that if they can brought her something to eat. She was a soul in pain.

The day that Mulder found her and that she met her mother in the cafeteria, she couldn't eat anything, she just had a coffee to stay awake, she felt lost without her soul mate. And he always arrive just in time to rescue her, she saved him after all, leaving was not a bad decision for him, because at last he understood how wrong he was, and was able to survive.

But now they are together again, why deny it, they can't leave appart, he got better for her, not for himself, and she got lost because of losing him, they act like one, they are one, that's all they know and honestly they don't need anything else.

She goes down to dinner and then they cuddle on the sofa to watch a movie, neither of them knows what destiny holds, if the world will really end in 2012, they don't care, they learned that the only important thing is to be together, accept themselves as they are, without trying to change each other, never lie and simply love.

THE END

Ok guys, this was a struggle for me, I know this ending isn't great but I really needed to end it, we know Mulder without Scully is a mistake, no matter what the real writers say. I really hope you don't kill me after this.

Hope you keep reading my stories and enjoying them, remember you can send me prompts for Family Times.

I really appreciate the constant support, I hope don't let you down. Thank You!


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